What's Best for Her

Last Friday was Grandparents/Friends day at Olivia’s school. As a fourth grader, this is the last time she’ll take part in a program like this.

My mom attended and spent time with Olivia. After the program, my mom and Liv talked and Olivia told her Gram that she was so scared on the top level of the risers that her legs were shaking.

The teachers did notice Olivia’s discomfort and let her move to the floor beside the risers but…this is not the first time Olivia’s been miserable during a school program. I mean, hello, she’s been forced to participate in such programs for, let’s see, seven freaking years.

So after the program, my mom told me and Tom that she didn’t think we should force Olivia to relive that program on Tuesday, which is when the kids are performing it for their parents and siblings. Grandparents/Friends Day is basically the schools way of breaking up the audience into two shows so they can fit everyone into the gym.

Tom and I talked about it, both with and without Olivia and we decided I’d email her teachers today and let them know Liv won’t be there tomorrow night.

But before I could send that email today, yesterday, I attended Alyssa’s high school band and choir concert (it deserves its own post) and I was able to speak to Mrs. F. She teaches both Jr. High and high school choir along with elementary music. She is the one who put together the entire program the elementary school is putting on tomorrow night.

I shared Olivia’s feelings about the program with her. “I was a totem pole,” Olivia declared somewhat stoically last Friday evening. I reminded her of years’ past when Olivia simply could not bring herself to even pretend to sing.

Mrs. F told me, “I support whatever you think is best for Olivia. I wish she’d show me her feisty personality that I know is in there but I agree that if she’s miserable, she should just stay home. It won’t affect her grade.”

So that’s what we’re doing. While the rest of the elementary is singing Elfie Selfie and dancing their little hearts out, Olivia will be at home, taking a bath, relaxing, enjoying a snack and basking in the joy of a long winter’s night.