I Kind of Wish I Hadn't Given Them Any Warning

I hesitate to mention our plans for the evening for fear they’ll fall through.

But, if they do fall through, the girls will probably be thrilled.

See, the plans start with a visit to the dentist for the cleaning of little teeth.

And then, because we’re all about keeping our dentist in business, we’re heading out to trick or treat. Again.

I am hoping we can recapture the magic of Saturday night when Olivia walked the entire way on her own two feet.

But this time? I’m wearing way more comfortable shoes so I probably won’t complain much if she asks to be cared.

Here’s to a non-adventurous visit to the dentist followed by a race through the neighborhood collecting yummy, cavity-inducing sweets. Yes, we do live on the wild side around here.

A Treat

It only took five Halloweens, five years of costumes (I think she might have been a fairy two years in a row,) five trick or treating trips to get to the point where Olivia walked the entire way.

I expected her to ask me to carry her half way through the evening. But, in hopes of saving my own feet and back, I made her wear her tennis shoes rather than the sparkly black flats I bought her to go with her "mean" witch costume. Alyssa has been asking Olivia for weeks if she was going to be a nice witch. Each time Olivia chirped, "No, I'm going to be a MEAN witch." It might have been more convincing if she didn't have such a sweet, high voice.

And the tennies worked. She walked. She walked for an hour. All the moms out there with late walkers will get why this is such a big deal. They understand why this is something that needs to be recorded.

Olivia walked from house to house to house for an hour. She held my hand and she often said to me with a smile, "Let's run and catch up to Lyssie."

And we ran. We ran and caught up with Lyssie and her friend and then we walked some more.

I'm not quite ready to give up our stroller but I'm one step closer than I was last week when she rode in it across the soccer field to watch Alyssa play her last game of the season.

My little witch really is getting stronger and I couldn't be prouder.

I'm also very proud of Alyssa, who went as Simba this year from the Lion King. How awesome is this girl? She's all about the coolness of a tough lion than is she about being girly and glittery. I hope I can keep her this innocent and awesome for years to come.

Best Laid Plans

As I left work yesterday, the plans were simple. I'd come home, feed my family, make cookies to be taken to the school today for Alyssa's class Halloween party, put the girls in bed, pack the gift bags that would also be taken to Alyssa's class party and then go to bed.

Great, huh? Yes, yes it was. And that's just what happened.

Yes, there was that little wrinkle where Alyssa woke up fifteen minutes after I left the room and came downstairs to find me and I ordered her to lay on the couch while I finished the bags of candy so I wouldn't have to go up and lay with her for another fifteen minutes, losing that time that I could be cramming chocolate into orange and black bags.

The plans this morning were also quite simple.

We'd get up at 6:00, get ready for school, I'd have the girls on the bus by 7:40. Olivia's costume was already in the car. Alyssa took hers to school herself.

By 8:45 I was on my way to the school for O's class party. No gift bags necessary because the high school home economics class was hosting the party. Yay.

The plan was to attend O's party at 9:00 until 10:30. After the party, I'd take her home, get the box stuffed with the bingo game I made, the drinks and cups I bought, the napkins, the cookies and the bags of candy and head back to the school for Alyssa's party, which started at 1:00.

Ten minutes into Olivia's class party, the receptionist from the office came to find me.

"You're Alyssa's mom, right?" she asked.

Yes, yes I am.

Alyssa was in the clinic, complaining of a headache. She's complained of a headache the last three mornings but a dose of ibuprophen has taken care of it.

I went down to the clinic to check on her. She was in tears. I gave her some medicine and told her to rest and that I'd be back soon, that I needed to go back to Livie's party.

A half hour more of Olivia's party and I went back to the clinic to see of Lyssie was ready to go back to class.

No. No she was not.

Back to O's party for fifteen more minutes and it was time to go home. I went back to the office, signed Alyssa out of school and took my girls home. As Alyssa gathered up her stuff in her classroom, the substitute teacher stopped to talk to me. I told her I was supposed to help with the class party. She said not to worry about it. I said I'd bring all the stuff I'd prepared for the party. She thanked me and said I could leave the stuff at the office.

On the way home, I called our doctor's office. But he was out today. I called my mom to ask her if Olivia could come spend some time with her and Jaxon whiel I took Alyssa to Urgent Care.

I know. It's a headache. I get them a lot.

But she's never really had any headachy issues before and I wanted to rule out the possibility of a sinus infection.

Before taking Olivia to my mom's, we stopped at home where I transferred the cookies I'd made last night into a container that I didn't care about getting back. I moved the call tags of the bingo game from the bucket I'd planned to use into a baggie. I then put the box in my car, took it to the school and left it at the office with a note on it with Alyssa's teacher's name.

Then we dropped Olivia off with her buddy Jaxon and headed to town.

On the way, I asked Alyssa if she'd been having any trouble with her eyes.

She assured me she hasn't.

The doctor didn't find any sign of infection but he did note that she sounds congested. Just not infection congestion. He recommended Zertek. He also agreed with me that we might need to see and ENT and look at her adnoids. Alyssa's a mouth breather at night. She also snores a little. These are signs that she's not sleeping nearly as deeply as she should and that could be the cause of the headaches.

He asked about stress...she said no.

He asked me about the possibility of puberty. Uhh, no, thank heaven, not yet. But yes, headaches can be a hormonal problem.

He asked her if she ever wakes up at night from the pain. No.

We're trying the allergy medicine for a few days and will see what happens. He stressed that if doesn't get better in a matter of days, we should follow up with our family doctor soon.

Plans schmlans.

I'm all for spontaneity but wow, I'm ready for sickness to sto derailing my weekend plans.

Alas, I realize that life is what happens while we're busy making plans.

Alyssa thanked me this evening for coming to see her when I heard she was in the clinic. I hugged that girl tight and told her that nothing could have kept me away from that clinic the minute I heard she wasn't feeling well.

I really, really hope the allergy medicine does the job.

Perks

I can often be found complaining about how much I hate being a work outside the home mom. And I often go on and on about how much better a parent I’d be if I were at home instead of in the workforce.

But I have to take a moment and admit that as far as working parents go, I have it pretty good. I have a very flexible boss who grants vacations pretty much without question.

I have a flexible vacation policy so I can take a day here and another day there. I also have sick/personal time that I can use if I only want/need to be away for a couple of hours.

All this is to say that tomorrow I get to go to my girls’ school Halloween parties. I’m just attending Olivia’s but I’m helping out at Alyssa’s.

I love doing things like this. I love seeing the girls in their school world, a world that doesn’t usually involve me. I love seeing them with their peers and their teachers.

And I love that, at least for now, they both still like having me around. I want to take advantage of this for as long as it lasts. It’s a little like the whole rocking thing. I know they aren’t going to want me to rock them to sleep forever and so I want to enjoy it while it lasts.

So on those mornings when I’m dragging my butt out of bed after too little sleep that held too many interruptions (really, Olivia? What’s up with the three and four waking a night these last few nights?) I try and remind myself that if I have to be a working mom, I’m lucky to work where I do so I can do things like Halloween parties and Christmas parties and Valentine’s Day parties, things that some moms just can’t do because of the nature of their jobs.

I’m absolutely one of the lucky ones, even on those days when I’m growly and snarly because I’m tired and don’t wanna go to work.

Wednesday Weigh In

So I haven’t actually used Wednesdays in the past as a weigh-in day. And I might not do so in the future.

In fact, I stand on the scale every single day, so I guess I should really have daily weigh-ins. Alas, with the weight loss slowing down significantly, I don’t really want to talk about it every day.

Yes, I still work at it every day and I celebrate every small milestone, I don’t feel the need to record every pound I lose like I did back in August.

I struggled a little more these days than in the first few weeks/months but really, I think I’m still doing well.

As of today, I’m 32.5 pounds down from when I started. That’s with just under three months of working at it. I’m calling that good.

What is really good is how much better I feel these days. I’m down a full pant size, which, yay. You’d think, if you read and believe the stupid magazines out there, I’d be down two sizes, but no, with my build, it takes a full 20 pounds to get down one size. So I’m in a loose version of the next size down from where I started.

And I’m good with that too.

I feel like when I’m eating crap like I was before August, I’m not getting nearly the nutrition that I need. I’m one of those fat people who is actually malnourished. But when I work at the whole weight-loss thing, my health benefits because suddenly, I’m not eating empty calories. I want every calorie to count for something.

But exercise…the bane of my existence. It’s still not happening. I just can’t make the time. I know, I know. I’d feel even better if I’d move. But I don’t want to yet. Maybe someday. Maybe when I’m smaller and feel like people out there who might see me exercising won’t think, “Damn, she NEEDS to be running.” I know people don’t think that. I do. And yet, I can’t help but think that they do when I’m out there walking or attempting to jog.

So for now, my food intake has to be what works toward weight loss.

And it’s working. This month. I’m still taking things on a month by month basis. I’m not making any major goals or plans. Come November if I want a peppermint patty, I’m SO having one. Then again, I might decide that I can do this for another month. I might. I’m not making any promises either way.

It just feels really good to finally be doing something instead of bitching about it all the time. It feels good to know that I’m being good to my body. It feels good to prove to myself again that I can do this.

Her Own Pace

Olivia has this baby Rapunzel doll that she got for her birthday last year. Maybe it was for Christmas. I don’t remember.

Anyway, this doll…she’s liked it all along. In the beginning (last year in November/December) she’d pick up the doll, hold it for a bit, put it down and go about her day.

These days, though, that doll is a constant. The minute we get home, she goes off in search of Rapunzel. She finds Rappie, grabs a spoon out of the utensil drawer and settles in to watch whatever Alyssa has put on the television, Rapunzel settled comfortably in her lap, Olivia pretending to feed the baby doll with her spoon.

She also has a tiny tea cup she uses to pretend to give Rapunzel drinks.

During meals, Rapunzel lays across Olivia’s lap. After meals, Olivia and Rapunzel race off to the next adventure, always with the tea cup or the spoon at the ready in case Olivia’s baby gets hungry or thirsty.

This is normal play. I know that. It normal play for a typical two year old. And yes, Olivia will be five in a month.

But this is huge for my girl. My child, who had always preferred other people to toys, who would rather dangle from my hands than pretend to be some silly doll’s mommy, is playing. Her imagination is blossoming and I love watching it. I love that she falls asleep with Baby Rapunzel cradled in her arms. I love that the instant she wakes up she wants to know where Rapunzel is.

I don’t care that it’s taken her longer than other children to get to this place where she plays with her doll, mimicking the care she sees people give to babies. I don’t care that she isn’t completely potty trained yet. I’m as proud of her for playing like this as I am of Alyssa for winning that race on Saturday. Both are big deals in our little lives.

She’s getting there. And she’s doing it all at her own pace. Delayed is okay. It lets me baby her just a little longer and it makes me appreciate that much more when she does reach those new milestones. It gives me a whole new outlook on life and the joy of playing with dolls.

My sweet girl is setting her own pace and I couldn’t be prouder of her each and every day that she learns something new or imagines a whole new world for her doll. So she still hates cutting and tracing…she’ll get there. At her own pace, just like she always has.

Bonus Weekend

Since I was supposed to be out of town this past weekend, I realized that my time with the girls was bonus time.

While spending a couple of hours at my mom’s so that Olivia could get her wiggles out with Jaxon before we headed home to the sick house, I thought about what the girls and I might do with our bonus weekend.

I decided to check the local listings and see if there were any movies we might like to see that Friday night. I figured that the longer we could give Tom to sleep his illness away in a quiet house, the better.

I found a theater about forty minutes away that was playing Dolphin Tale at 4:35. Perfect timing! I could pick Alyssa up at school, head toward the town where the movie was playing, feed the girls and early dinner and make the movie before Olivia got too tired to even enjoy it.

It was one of those fabulous, spontaneous evenings that happen so rarely because we’re always so busy doing everything else.

Most of the laundry was done, the dishwasher had been emptied, the floors were swept. Time was ours.

Saturday morning dawned cold and frosty. I’d signed Alyssa up for a race that had been postponed for 9am that morning. She was nervous but excited. She’d never actually run in a race before and so this was something new.

She won!! She came in first of all the girls in her grade. We cheered and yelled as she pulled away from the pack and made her way to the finish line. She got a pumpkin and a ribbon just for showing up and a First Place Plaque for being an awesome runner. I am so, so glad I got to be there to see that.

After A’s race, the three of us headed to Walmart and the library. We didn’t actually need much as Walmart, but I was looking for an excuse to stay out of the house a little longer. Tom was still in the resting phase of his flu or whatever it was that knocked him off his feet.

Once back home, the frost had melted and the sun was shining. It was one of those amazing fall days that you have to spend a portion of outside. Alyssa rode her bike around the driveway and Olivia climbed up and down the front porch stairs. She managed to exhaust herself quite thoroughly.

After three bowls of potato soup, Olivia was ready for pajamas and rocking by 7pm. By 8:30, Alyssa had replaced Olivia on my lap and she, too, was sound asleep.

Sunday was another frosty morning that warmed up to a glorious day. It was the perfect day for Alyssa’s last soccer game of the season.

And yes, of course her team won that game. That’s just how the weekend was going for us.

This morning Tom apologized to me for ruining my weekend.

I looked him and said, “You didn’t ruin my weekend. It might not have been the weekend I’d planned to have but it was a great one anyway. It was a bonus weekend for me and the girls. I was right where I was supposed to be.”