“She ate pretty well today,” my mom said, nodding in Olivia’s direction. “But she was pretty timid about that tooth.”
During dinner, I watched Olivia gingerly take each bite, her eyes widening as the food pushed her tooth forward that much more.
Each time, I’d ask, “Is it out?”
She’d shake her head and open her mouth, still full of barely chewed food, to show me the tooth. There were moments when it was almost vertical, hanging on by the merest hint of skin. Ewww.
She managed to finish dinner without the tooth coming out and then went to watch Chicken Little while I sliced green tomatoes for frying.
About five minutes later, she called out, “It’s out.”
She ran to me with her hand outstretched, her tiny little tooth in her palm. The relief and wonder on her face was adorable.
She opened her mouth to show me the bloody hole left by the tooth.
I took the tooth and told her to go rinse her mouth out. She did as instructed and then went to find a mirror to inspect the damage. She declared it to be a bloody mess (it wasn’t that bad) and wanted to go tell her daddy that it was finally out.
Much celebrating ensued and Tom and I made arrangements to let the Tooth Fairy in later that night.
Said Fairy deemed that tooth worth $5.00 because Olivia managed to yank it out herself rather than needing a parent to reach in and do the gross work.
All in all, it was definitely a successful, almost painless, tooth extraction. I can say with certainty that Olivia is very relieved to have that thing out of her mouth.
She does want to know when the new tooth will grow in and fill the hole. Will it be tomorrow? The next day? Before kindergarten starts? Who knows? I reply with a smile, knowing the questions will start again in about five minutes. And that's okay too. Curiosity is how we learn, how we understand the world around us and yes, even ourselves. Keep on asking those questions, Liv.
A mom, a dad and two daughters. We're living ordinary lives with a twist of 5p- (Cri du Chat) for spice. But we're about so much more than our younger daughter's genetic diagnosis.
Friday, June 28, 2013
Thursday, June 27, 2013
Loose Tooth - Take Two
When I got to my mom’s yesterday evening, my mom told me that Olivia hadn’t stopped eating for the last two or so hours. She snacked on cookies, Jello, some yogurt, a cereal bar and some strawberries.
As I stood talking to my mom, Olivia joined us in the kitchen and said, “Um, Gram? I’m still hungry.”
My mom gave her another cookie. O stuffed the whole thing in her mouth and walked away.
About three minutes later, she was back. Her mouth was still very full and she was trying to tell us something. Once she’s swallowed most of her cookie, she informed us that her tooth hurt.
We looked in her mouth and could see why. The bottom left front tooth was askew and a little bloody. When she overfilled her mouth with cookie, she’d wiggled the already-loose tooth even looser. It’s not hanging by a thread.
And it’s driving her nuts.
This will be her second lost baby tooth. The first one never even seemed all that loose until one day when I got home from work Tom informed me that she’d lost it during lunch. And yes, she’d swallowed it. Ick.
O’s first thought this morning was, “Is my tooth still loose?”
I suggested she wiggle it with her tongue and tell me if it was loose.
It was. (Duh.)
She asked, “Is it going to be loose forever?” (She uses the word forever a lot. Like if Alyssa sleeps past 6:30, “Is Lyssie going to sleep forever?” Or is Alyssa spends the night with a friend, “Is Lyssie going to stay with her friend forever?”)
I told her that of course it wouldn’t be loose forever, that it would fall out and a bigger tooth would grow in its place.
She liked that idea. But not nearly enough to let me reach in and pull that sucker out for her.
She’s learned her lesson with letting me touch anything that needs pulled out/off. She hates having bandaids pulled off and I hate that they stick to her skin for days or even weeks if I let them. So I put her in the bath, tell her I’m just going to loosen the edges and snatch that thing right off. It’s not pretty but it doesn’t last long and I feel like that’s kinder than just pulling a little at a time.
That tooth, though? I don’t think she’s going to let me anywhere near it. I’ll just keep reminding her that it’s going to annoy her until we get it out. We’ll see who can hold out the longest.
As I stood talking to my mom, Olivia joined us in the kitchen and said, “Um, Gram? I’m still hungry.”
My mom gave her another cookie. O stuffed the whole thing in her mouth and walked away.
About three minutes later, she was back. Her mouth was still very full and she was trying to tell us something. Once she’s swallowed most of her cookie, she informed us that her tooth hurt.
We looked in her mouth and could see why. The bottom left front tooth was askew and a little bloody. When she overfilled her mouth with cookie, she’d wiggled the already-loose tooth even looser. It’s not hanging by a thread.
And it’s driving her nuts.
This will be her second lost baby tooth. The first one never even seemed all that loose until one day when I got home from work Tom informed me that she’d lost it during lunch. And yes, she’d swallowed it. Ick.
O’s first thought this morning was, “Is my tooth still loose?”
I suggested she wiggle it with her tongue and tell me if it was loose.
It was. (Duh.)
She asked, “Is it going to be loose forever?” (She uses the word forever a lot. Like if Alyssa sleeps past 6:30, “Is Lyssie going to sleep forever?” Or is Alyssa spends the night with a friend, “Is Lyssie going to stay with her friend forever?”)
I told her that of course it wouldn’t be loose forever, that it would fall out and a bigger tooth would grow in its place.
She liked that idea. But not nearly enough to let me reach in and pull that sucker out for her.
She’s learned her lesson with letting me touch anything that needs pulled out/off. She hates having bandaids pulled off and I hate that they stick to her skin for days or even weeks if I let them. So I put her in the bath, tell her I’m just going to loosen the edges and snatch that thing right off. It’s not pretty but it doesn’t last long and I feel like that’s kinder than just pulling a little at a time.
That tooth, though? I don’t think she’s going to let me anywhere near it. I’ll just keep reminding her that it’s going to annoy her until we get it out. We’ll see who can hold out the longest.
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Summer Firsts
Yesterday was a pretty busy day. I worked part of the day, left early to take Olivia to her hearing test and then the girls and I had the afternoon stretching ahead of us.
Alyssa has asked to play miniature golf for the past few summers and it was just something we hadn’t made the time to do so I thought yesterday would be a great day for it.
We got our clubs and our golf balls. I went first just because Alyssa wasn’t clear on exactly what she was supposed to do. After that first hole, she was fine and wanted to go first every hole after. Olivia…well, she was bored after the second hold. She hated the way the putter felt in her hand and she was hot. By the third hold, she was asking when we could go swimming. By the fifth, she was asking when we would be done.
She tried to hand me her putter on the ninth hole and when we got to the thirteenth, she was using her hand to just push her ball along.
I’m going to call it a tie in that miniature golf was a hit with Alyssa and a major miss with Olivia. I think she needs a couple more years before we try it again. Though Alyssa and I might take an afternoon and do it again on our own.
When we got home at around 3:30 Olivia started in with the questions about when we were going to go swimming. I told her she and her sister had to eat something first and that the pool didn’t even open until 6:00. I’d already told them I’d take them to the late open swim hours, which are from 6pm to 8pm. It only costs a dollar a person to get in and swim at that time of day.
But two and a half hours feels like an eternity when you’re six. She sighed and asked again when it would be time. I told her if she didn’t leave me alone about it, she could stay home with her dad while Alyssa and I went swimming.
Olivia responded with her usual, “What the heck?”
And that made me laugh so all was well.
I made them dinner, they ate, we changed into our suits and hit the road.
We made it to the pool two minutes after it opened. The girls were thrilled. This was our first journey to the community pool this year. They’ve been clamoring to go for about a month but damn, June started out cold (okay, cooler than usual) and I didn’t relish the idea of putting myself into chilly water.
But this past week it’s been in the high 80s and even the 90s so I had hope that the pool water had warmed to a bearable temperature.
The first dip of my big toe told me I might have been wrong. But I took a deep breath and descended the ladder. Once I’d put myself in up to my shoulders, it was fine.
Olivia, on the other hand, needed a bit of coaxing. Yes, the one who’d been talking about swimming all freaking day was the one who stood on the ladder like a big baby, saying, “It’s kind of cold, isn’t it?”
I managed to convince her that once she was all the way in the water, it would feel fine. And I was right. She swam for 40 minutes before asking to go to the baby pool.
As she and I left the big pool, the one where O can now stand on the tips of her toes and have her head above water, I reminded her that next year she’ll be too old for the baby pool because it’s for kids who are six and under. She shrugged at that one. I think she figures she’ll find a way around that silly rule when the time comes. That’s my girl.
She lounged in the pee-warmed water of the baby pool for the next hour and a half while Alyssa went up the stairs and down the water slide at least twenty times. That’s how that girl stays so slim and still eats like a sixteen year old boy. She moves all the time. I could learn a few things from her.
By the time we got home, Olivia was ready for jammies, a snack and a back rub. She was asleep twenty minutes after we walked in the door. Alyssa? She didn’t go to sleep until I made her go to bed at 10:00. And yes, she snacked the entire last hour and a half she was awake.
By the time I went to bed myself, I could honestly say we’d had a wonderful day filled with a few firsts that might also be our lasts (I’m looking at Olivia and mini golf.)
Alyssa has asked to play miniature golf for the past few summers and it was just something we hadn’t made the time to do so I thought yesterday would be a great day for it.
We got our clubs and our golf balls. I went first just because Alyssa wasn’t clear on exactly what she was supposed to do. After that first hole, she was fine and wanted to go first every hole after. Olivia…well, she was bored after the second hold. She hated the way the putter felt in her hand and she was hot. By the third hold, she was asking when we could go swimming. By the fifth, she was asking when we would be done.
She tried to hand me her putter on the ninth hole and when we got to the thirteenth, she was using her hand to just push her ball along.
I’m going to call it a tie in that miniature golf was a hit with Alyssa and a major miss with Olivia. I think she needs a couple more years before we try it again. Though Alyssa and I might take an afternoon and do it again on our own.
When we got home at around 3:30 Olivia started in with the questions about when we were going to go swimming. I told her she and her sister had to eat something first and that the pool didn’t even open until 6:00. I’d already told them I’d take them to the late open swim hours, which are from 6pm to 8pm. It only costs a dollar a person to get in and swim at that time of day.
But two and a half hours feels like an eternity when you’re six. She sighed and asked again when it would be time. I told her if she didn’t leave me alone about it, she could stay home with her dad while Alyssa and I went swimming.
Olivia responded with her usual, “What the heck?”
And that made me laugh so all was well.
I made them dinner, they ate, we changed into our suits and hit the road.
We made it to the pool two minutes after it opened. The girls were thrilled. This was our first journey to the community pool this year. They’ve been clamoring to go for about a month but damn, June started out cold (okay, cooler than usual) and I didn’t relish the idea of putting myself into chilly water.
But this past week it’s been in the high 80s and even the 90s so I had hope that the pool water had warmed to a bearable temperature.
The first dip of my big toe told me I might have been wrong. But I took a deep breath and descended the ladder. Once I’d put myself in up to my shoulders, it was fine.
Olivia, on the other hand, needed a bit of coaxing. Yes, the one who’d been talking about swimming all freaking day was the one who stood on the ladder like a big baby, saying, “It’s kind of cold, isn’t it?”
I managed to convince her that once she was all the way in the water, it would feel fine. And I was right. She swam for 40 minutes before asking to go to the baby pool.
As she and I left the big pool, the one where O can now stand on the tips of her toes and have her head above water, I reminded her that next year she’ll be too old for the baby pool because it’s for kids who are six and under. She shrugged at that one. I think she figures she’ll find a way around that silly rule when the time comes. That’s my girl.
She lounged in the pee-warmed water of the baby pool for the next hour and a half while Alyssa went up the stairs and down the water slide at least twenty times. That’s how that girl stays so slim and still eats like a sixteen year old boy. She moves all the time. I could learn a few things from her.
By the time we got home, Olivia was ready for jammies, a snack and a back rub. She was asleep twenty minutes after we walked in the door. Alyssa? She didn’t go to sleep until I made her go to bed at 10:00. And yes, she snacked the entire last hour and a half she was awake.
By the time I went to bed myself, I could honestly say we’d had a wonderful day filled with a few firsts that might also be our lasts (I’m looking at Olivia and mini golf.)
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Testing the Hearing of the Selectively Mute
I worried about this test. I worried about how Olivia would communicate with a stranger to let him/her know she (Olivia) could hear.
I shouldn't have.
The technician was so kind. She was very patient and willing to work with Olivia and learn Olivia's method of communication.
I let the tech know from the start that Olivia tends to be a little difficult when it comes to talking to strangers.
The tech decided that the raised hand method would work best. She also decided to just test the normal hearing levels and skip the tests for the higher and lower frequencies.
At first, Olivia was reluctant to raise her hand when she heard the beep. But the tech was patient enough that Olivia got over her initial shyness. The tech did say that Olivia didn't raise her hand until the beep stopped rather than raising it when the beep started.
After the exam, the doctor came in and I think he was confused about why we were even there. He said that O's ears look perfect. Her hearing tested as perfectly normal (what a lovely word when describing one of O's abilities.)
I explained about her selective mutism diagnosis and that we were there just to make sure that her hearing was part of her speech issue. We were already pretty sure it wasn't but wanted medical proof of that. He said that he couldn't even see scarring from the tubes she'd had inserted when she was eight months old. That's good news too.
I think her speech therapist will be thrilled to learn that Olivia found a way to communicate with the tech. That's what we're after, in the long run, finding ways for Olivia to communicate. Actually talking would be great and I have no doubt that we'll get there but we can only take one step at a time and this is an excellent step.
I'm reallly proud of Olivia for how well she did today. She was very brave and very determined to get through the hearing test. This was one of those moments when I couldn't be her voice and so she found a way to speak for herself. How amazing is this girl of mine?
I shouldn't have.
The technician was so kind. She was very patient and willing to work with Olivia and learn Olivia's method of communication.
I let the tech know from the start that Olivia tends to be a little difficult when it comes to talking to strangers.
The tech decided that the raised hand method would work best. She also decided to just test the normal hearing levels and skip the tests for the higher and lower frequencies.
At first, Olivia was reluctant to raise her hand when she heard the beep. But the tech was patient enough that Olivia got over her initial shyness. The tech did say that Olivia didn't raise her hand until the beep stopped rather than raising it when the beep started.
After the exam, the doctor came in and I think he was confused about why we were even there. He said that O's ears look perfect. Her hearing tested as perfectly normal (what a lovely word when describing one of O's abilities.)
I explained about her selective mutism diagnosis and that we were there just to make sure that her hearing was part of her speech issue. We were already pretty sure it wasn't but wanted medical proof of that. He said that he couldn't even see scarring from the tubes she'd had inserted when she was eight months old. That's good news too.
I think her speech therapist will be thrilled to learn that Olivia found a way to communicate with the tech. That's what we're after, in the long run, finding ways for Olivia to communicate. Actually talking would be great and I have no doubt that we'll get there but we can only take one step at a time and this is an excellent step.
I'm reallly proud of Olivia for how well she did today. She was very brave and very determined to get through the hearing test. This was one of those moments when I couldn't be her voice and so she found a way to speak for herself. How amazing is this girl of mine?
Monday, June 24, 2013
Shopping
Because of a graduation party for the sons of two of my cousins, the girls and I didn’t get to do our usual Saturday routine of library, lunch and grocery shopping.
So we hit the grocery store yesterday.
But before we even left, I offered the girls the choice of staying home with Tom and having me come back after buying groceries, picking them up and taking them to my mom’s to swim later in the afternoon.
Alyssa said she was staying home. Olivia echoed her sister.
I didn’t quite do a happy dance but in my head I did a backflip because I planned to hit the local Kohl’s and buy a bra to wear with my bridesmaid dress in my brother’s wedding, which is less than three weeks away now.
About ten seconds after deciding to stay home, Alyssa declared she’d changed her mind. She was coming with me.
Once Olivia heard Alyssa’s change of plans, she, too, wanted to come.
Sigh. Oh well. It wouldn’t be the first time I’d gone shopping for bras with an audience. It probably won’t be the last either.
But, joy of joys, Kohl’s was having a buy one get one half off sale on bras. Wheeee! Life is good over here these days.
As I picked out the ones I wanted to try, Olivia paced between the mannequins, marveling at the fact that they didn’t have heads or arms or legs but they did have bosoms. She loves the bosoms on those mannequins. Alyssa was constantly hissing at Olivia not to molest the mannequins and I was telling Alyssa to leave her sister alone, she wasn’t actually hurting anyone or anything. It’s not like the mannequins can feel violated or anything.
So after picking a few to try, off we went to the dressing rooms. We were lucky that the one at the end, the big room, was available.
At that point, the best part of my day happened. As I tried on the items I’d brought with me, I found another added bonus to my latest weight loss. Get this…I no longer wear a bra that is sized in the 40s! I know, right? I am now in the 30s and I can’t even stand it.
Yes, yes is a post about my bra size. Please forgive me but I can’t help it.
In the end, I bought four new undergarments. And all of them are sized to fit my current shape and they’re lovely. We only had to go into the dressing rooms three times to find the ones I liked the best.
After that, we headed to the grocery store and then to Gram’s to swim. That was definitely the highlight of the girls’ day. Mom’s bras? They don’t hold nearly as much fascination as a pool of cool water on a seriously hot day.
So we hit the grocery store yesterday.
But before we even left, I offered the girls the choice of staying home with Tom and having me come back after buying groceries, picking them up and taking them to my mom’s to swim later in the afternoon.
Alyssa said she was staying home. Olivia echoed her sister.
I didn’t quite do a happy dance but in my head I did a backflip because I planned to hit the local Kohl’s and buy a bra to wear with my bridesmaid dress in my brother’s wedding, which is less than three weeks away now.
About ten seconds after deciding to stay home, Alyssa declared she’d changed her mind. She was coming with me.
Once Olivia heard Alyssa’s change of plans, she, too, wanted to come.
Sigh. Oh well. It wouldn’t be the first time I’d gone shopping for bras with an audience. It probably won’t be the last either.
But, joy of joys, Kohl’s was having a buy one get one half off sale on bras. Wheeee! Life is good over here these days.
As I picked out the ones I wanted to try, Olivia paced between the mannequins, marveling at the fact that they didn’t have heads or arms or legs but they did have bosoms. She loves the bosoms on those mannequins. Alyssa was constantly hissing at Olivia not to molest the mannequins and I was telling Alyssa to leave her sister alone, she wasn’t actually hurting anyone or anything. It’s not like the mannequins can feel violated or anything.
So after picking a few to try, off we went to the dressing rooms. We were lucky that the one at the end, the big room, was available.
At that point, the best part of my day happened. As I tried on the items I’d brought with me, I found another added bonus to my latest weight loss. Get this…I no longer wear a bra that is sized in the 40s! I know, right? I am now in the 30s and I can’t even stand it.
Yes, yes is a post about my bra size. Please forgive me but I can’t help it.
In the end, I bought four new undergarments. And all of them are sized to fit my current shape and they’re lovely. We only had to go into the dressing rooms three times to find the ones I liked the best.
After that, we headed to the grocery store and then to Gram’s to swim. That was definitely the highlight of the girls’ day. Mom’s bras? They don’t hold nearly as much fascination as a pool of cool water on a seriously hot day.
Friday, June 21, 2013
Added Bonus
These days of peace, of feeling centered and more ‘myself’ than I have in years, are great. I am a better mother, a better daughter, a better sister and yes, even a better wife.
I wouldn’t say that Tom and I were ever unhappy together but there have been moments over the last few years that were…tense. I was peevish and often petulant. My feelings were hurt way more easily than one would think could happen to an adult woman.
He often didn’t have to say anything at all for me to suddenly feel put upon and negated and even put down.
I don’t blame him for any of this. I know it was me. I was reading between lines that didn’t even exist. I was transferring my own issues onto him and then taking them as criticism from him to me.
These days, we’re better friends than we have been in years. These days we both laugh a lot more, we sing around the kitchen, we tease and we smile. We like each other and that…it’s awesome.
I mean, we’ve always loved each other. That was never in question. But there were times, days, months interspersed in the last eleven years that I’ve wondered if I even liked this man. And I’ve definitely wondered if he liked me. I often felt like there was very little that he thought I did well or right.
I’m happy to say that I feel liked these days, by both Tom and myself.
That’s a really nice feeling.
It’s also nice to glance across the table and catch the gaze of your partner in life and both smile, knowing that this moment in time is a good one, even if one daughter is singing at the top of her lungs and the other is turning the television up higher and higher to drown out her sister.
That old adage, if mom/wife is happy everyone is happy? It sure seems to be true in our house. I never really got how much my happiness/unhappiness affected everyone in our house. I’m incredibly blessed to see it now and have the tools to make changes if/when they’re needed.
I wouldn’t say that Tom and I were ever unhappy together but there have been moments over the last few years that were…tense. I was peevish and often petulant. My feelings were hurt way more easily than one would think could happen to an adult woman.
He often didn’t have to say anything at all for me to suddenly feel put upon and negated and even put down.
I don’t blame him for any of this. I know it was me. I was reading between lines that didn’t even exist. I was transferring my own issues onto him and then taking them as criticism from him to me.
These days, we’re better friends than we have been in years. These days we both laugh a lot more, we sing around the kitchen, we tease and we smile. We like each other and that…it’s awesome.
I mean, we’ve always loved each other. That was never in question. But there were times, days, months interspersed in the last eleven years that I’ve wondered if I even liked this man. And I’ve definitely wondered if he liked me. I often felt like there was very little that he thought I did well or right.
I’m happy to say that I feel liked these days, by both Tom and myself.
That’s a really nice feeling.
It’s also nice to glance across the table and catch the gaze of your partner in life and both smile, knowing that this moment in time is a good one, even if one daughter is singing at the top of her lungs and the other is turning the television up higher and higher to drown out her sister.
That old adage, if mom/wife is happy everyone is happy? It sure seems to be true in our house. I never really got how much my happiness/unhappiness affected everyone in our house. I’m incredibly blessed to see it now and have the tools to make changes if/when they’re needed.
Thursday, June 20, 2013
Doctor's Orders
I had my annual appointment yesterday with my doctor. The nurse weighed me, took my blood pressure and asked if I had any concerns.
I don’t. I’m good. My weight is under control for the first time in years. My blood pressure is the same as it’s always been, right there at good.
When the doctor finally came in, he mentioned the weight loss. He asked how I’d done it. He asked what I was doing for exercise.
Sigh…and, ha. Hahahaha. Okay, so I was glad to be able to say that the girls and I ride our bikes about seven miles every few days.
He nodded, glad to hear that.
Then he suggested strength training.
I nodded back at him, giving him what I hope was a look that said I was listening and considering taking his advice.
But you know what? Not really. I have no intention of doing any sort of weight training. Resistance? Maybe. It could happen. It probably won’t but I won’t say that it definitely won’t.
I’ve said before that I hate exercise. I hate the feel of fatigued muscles in the middle of my living room. It’s different when we’re out on the road, riding our bikes. We actually going somewhere, the pain is worth the effort because we’re moving, we’re doing something, we’re not just in our basement, moving parts on a stationary bike or on a treadmill. I can’t just get off a bike in the middle of a country road and be done. I have to keep going to get to our destination.
That makes the exercise of riding a bike feel worth the effort.
Weight training? Strength training for the sake of lifting weights? It feels pointless and the pain of it all feels ridiculous to me.
I know I need to get over this. I do. I know I’m getting older and doing some strength training will do nothing but make me healthier. So…I’ll think about it. I’m not promising anything, though. Not even if it means ignoring my doctor’s orders.
Note: I realize that this all makes me sound like a big old brat. I’m working on that. Promise.
I don’t. I’m good. My weight is under control for the first time in years. My blood pressure is the same as it’s always been, right there at good.
When the doctor finally came in, he mentioned the weight loss. He asked how I’d done it. He asked what I was doing for exercise.
Sigh…and, ha. Hahahaha. Okay, so I was glad to be able to say that the girls and I ride our bikes about seven miles every few days.
He nodded, glad to hear that.
Then he suggested strength training.
I nodded back at him, giving him what I hope was a look that said I was listening and considering taking his advice.
But you know what? Not really. I have no intention of doing any sort of weight training. Resistance? Maybe. It could happen. It probably won’t but I won’t say that it definitely won’t.
I’ve said before that I hate exercise. I hate the feel of fatigued muscles in the middle of my living room. It’s different when we’re out on the road, riding our bikes. We actually going somewhere, the pain is worth the effort because we’re moving, we’re doing something, we’re not just in our basement, moving parts on a stationary bike or on a treadmill. I can’t just get off a bike in the middle of a country road and be done. I have to keep going to get to our destination.
That makes the exercise of riding a bike feel worth the effort.
Weight training? Strength training for the sake of lifting weights? It feels pointless and the pain of it all feels ridiculous to me.
I know I need to get over this. I do. I know I’m getting older and doing some strength training will do nothing but make me healthier. So…I’ll think about it. I’m not promising anything, though. Not even if it means ignoring my doctor’s orders.
Note: I realize that this all makes me sound like a big old brat. I’m working on that. Promise.
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