Sleep Training Fail

The night before last was ugly.

With Olivia’s near-constant illnesses over the past two months or so, I was letting her climb into my bed no matter what time she woke up because, well, she was sick and she sleeps better when she’s next to me.

Well, she’s well now (knock on wood) and I want her to go back to not coming to lay with me until after 5am. See, even though she sleeps better next to me, I do NOT sleep better when she is next to me.

Wednesday night, she woke up at 12:30 and asked me if she could lay with me. I told her I was really tired and needed to sleep by myself. I got up and rubbed her back for about ten minutes then went to use the bathroom.

She followed me to the bathroom! I walked her back to the bed she shared with her sister and rubbed her back for another couple of minutes. I then kissed her and told her I was super tired and needed to sleep. I told her to go to sleep and she could come to my bed when the clock said it was five o’clock.

She tossed and turned for about fifteen minutes. Finally, she sat up and called, “Mom?”

I muttered, “What?”

She asked, “Can I come lay with you.”

I told her to lay down and go to sleep. I told her, again, that I didn’t sleep well when she was in my bed and that I was really, really tired so she needed to sleep in her bed instead of mine.

She started crying.

I was instantly pissed, furious even.

I hissed, “Why are you crying? Just go to sleep!”

I’m not proud of myself but damn it, it was 1:15 in the morning, she’d had me up and down for forty-five minutes by this point and I was so freaking tired. I just wanted her to go to sleep so I could go to sleep. But I didn’t want her to sleep in my bed because sharing a bed with a 52 pound seven year old is not comfortable. I wanted to sleep in comfort.

I got up, stomped to her bed and handed her the dream light that is usually at the bottom of the bed. I also gave her a tissue and, getting my irritation under control, asked her gently what was making her cry.

She sniffled and said, “I don’t know.”

Let me say that I do not believe that an eight month old can be manipulative. But I do think a seven year old can. I think she thought that if she was sad enough, I’d put her comfort over mine. That night, she was wrong. I did not give in. I did not cave.

I kissed her again, told her I was sorry I was so angry but that she needed to go to sleep in her own bed and I was going to sleep in mine.

Alyssa had woken up at this point because of the fussing both Olivia and I were doing. She rubbed O’s back for her for a few minutes and we all went to sleep.

I had high hopes for last night, since I hadn’t given in to her emotional manipulation.

Alas, last night, instead of just calling to me from her own bed, she woke up, got out of bed and arrived at the side of my bed without making a sound. She whispered, “Are you so tired tonight too?”

I muttered, “Yes.”

She gave a sort of hiccupy-half sob and I caved. It was 2:15 when she climbed into my bed.

We both got more sleep last night than we go the night before but the quality of that sleep was definitely less.

I know I need to be firm. I want to be firm without being unkind. But most of all, I want us all to just sleep. I don’t know what else to do. I know consistency is important and I’m trying, I really am, but she’s a sneaky little thing.

For the record, I am so sick of talking, thinking and writing about sleep. Unfortunately, sometimes, even though my youngest child is seven and a half years old, sleep is still the only thing on my mind because it is still so very much an issue in our house.