One Sunday evening right before school started, the girls and I were in the living room watching the Netflix series, “Lemony Snickets’ Series of Unfortunate Events”.
Tom was in the family room watching murder because that’s what he does.
Alyssa’s phone was in her hand because, duh, teenager.
She announced in an relaxed tone, “Steph’s in a ditch.”
It took me a minute but then I said, “What? How do you know this?”
“She sent a text to our group chat.”
I asked, “How did she end up in a ditch?”
“She took a curve too fast and spun her truck into a ditch on the corner of 6.75 and K,” Alyssa replied calmly.
“Has she called her parents?” I wanted to know.
But before Lyss could reply, I remembered something I’d seen on Facebook, posted by Steph’s mom, “They’re in Hocking Hills, aren’t they?”
Alyssa nodded.
“Did she call her brother?”
Alyssa shook her head at that one. “She said he’d just have a panic attack and she is already having one so two of them panicking isn’t going to do anyone any good.”
I got up from my nest on the couch and headed to the family room. I told Tom the situation and said that I thought we should go see if we could help.
I knew that a seventeen year old girl should not be on the side of the road alone at that time of the evening.
Tom drove his van with a tow strap in the back and I drove the girls in my car.
We only had to go about four miles to find Steph. Her cousin, a teenage boy, was already there as well as a friend of his. They had a chain and were preparing to try and pull the truck out of the ditch. It had gone in perpendicular to the road, the front end first into the ditch.
The first thing I did was to ask Steph if she was okay. She nodded but I still hugged her anyway. She was shaking. I told her we’d all put a vehicle in a ditch and even if we hadn’t yet, I looked at Alyssa, I assured Steph that we all would do so at one time or another. I told her I was really glad she was okay.
I could see the relief on the boys’ faces when they saw Tom get out of his van. I think they were glad to see a DAD show up.
Tom suggested that several people get in the back of Steph’s truck and try to weigh down the back tires so they could get a grip and make it possible to just drive the truck out of the ditch.
The cousin’s friend started to hand Steph the keys to her truck, as if to let her try and drive it out of the ditch.
I was like, “No, how about she not be the one to do that.”
The dude nodded and got in the truck himself.
Tom and the cousin got in the back of the truck. Friend started it and at first the tires just spun on the gravel.
Then Tom and Cousin started bouncing in the back of the truck, the tires gained traction and whee, the truck was out of the ditch.
And wonder of wonders, it did NOT fly across the road into the other side of the ditch, which was my biggest fear as Friend was gunning the engine.
His work there done, Tom headed back to his van and hopped in, waving in my direction.
Cousin and his Friend got in their truck and headed off.
I asked Steph, “Do you want us to follow you home?”
She nodded, “You don’t mind?”
I smiled, “Of course not.”
See, this is what friends do. We take care of each other, we mother each other’s kids, we go out even when a storm is coming and help a kid get her truck out of a ditch.
I am so glad we were close by and able to help this sweet girl.
The rain started just after we passed Steph as she pulled in her driveway.
The four mile drive home from her house was an adventure as the wind blew and rain poured.
But it was worth it because a teenage girl was home safe and sound. The only damage to her truck was the front license plate holder.
I call that a good day.
A mom, a dad and two daughters. We're living ordinary lives with a twist of 5p- (Cri du Chat) for spice. But we're about so much more than our younger daughter's genetic diagnosis.
Showing posts with label Friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Friends. Show all posts
Thursday, September 5, 2019
Friday, June 14, 2019
Bad Influence
So apparently, I’m the mom who leads the children of others astray into lives of deception and lies.
Alyssa decided to play social director one day last week.
She created a group chat with about seven of her friends. She and these friends then used the group chat to make plans to go swimming on a Friday afternoon. The swimming party would then move along and become a pizza party which would end at N’s house with a sleepover.
Among the friends was Zane, one of Lyss’s best friend, who just happens to be gay. He’s a sweetheart and I worry that his parents are in denial of his sexuality.
His dad will not let Zane spend the night with female friends.
As another of Lyss’s friends put it: Apparently, Z’s dad thinks the gay goes away after 10pm.
Zane would not be the only male attending this swim/pizza/slumber party.
D would also be there.
So…being the devious person I am, I suggested to A that she suggest to Z that he tell his dad (or mom, whichever parent he had to suffer that weekend) that he was spending the night with D.
I mean, it’s basically true. I’m sure that D and Z would be in living room on the couches while Lyss, N, A, S and K would be in N’s room.
So not really a lie, right?
Except, yes, it’s still a deception; one I suggested my teenage daughter tell her friend to tell his parents.
I’m a terrible person.
Yes, it’s true. And I feel almost bad about it.
But honestly, shouldn’t these teenagers be coming up with their own ways to lie to their parents?
Why is the 48 year old mom over here being more dishonest than the teens?
What is with this sweet, honest generation we’re raising?
Alyssa decided to play social director one day last week.
She created a group chat with about seven of her friends. She and these friends then used the group chat to make plans to go swimming on a Friday afternoon. The swimming party would then move along and become a pizza party which would end at N’s house with a sleepover.
Among the friends was Zane, one of Lyss’s best friend, who just happens to be gay. He’s a sweetheart and I worry that his parents are in denial of his sexuality.
His dad will not let Zane spend the night with female friends.
As another of Lyss’s friends put it: Apparently, Z’s dad thinks the gay goes away after 10pm.
Zane would not be the only male attending this swim/pizza/slumber party.
D would also be there.
So…being the devious person I am, I suggested to A that she suggest to Z that he tell his dad (or mom, whichever parent he had to suffer that weekend) that he was spending the night with D.
I mean, it’s basically true. I’m sure that D and Z would be in living room on the couches while Lyss, N, A, S and K would be in N’s room.
So not really a lie, right?
Except, yes, it’s still a deception; one I suggested my teenage daughter tell her friend to tell his parents.
I’m a terrible person.
Yes, it’s true. And I feel almost bad about it.
But honestly, shouldn’t these teenagers be coming up with their own ways to lie to their parents?
Why is the 48 year old mom over here being more dishonest than the teens?
What is with this sweet, honest generation we’re raising?
Monday, December 18, 2017
Sudden Plans
As with most high school kids, Alyssa’s social life seems to have developed a life of its own lately. Which is great, right?
But wait. Alyssa also has a mom who is going through chemo and doesn’t always feel well and she has a dad, who, while wonderful and helpful and awesome before 7pm, tends to pass out on the couch by 7:10pm.
One of Lyss’s new friends is a junior. A junior who drives. Yay!
Yay?
Sure, great. New friend can take Lyss to the required basketball games at which the band must play and bust out the pep.
The problem comes when Alyssa’s mom wants to go to bed at 9:30 on a Friday night after she’s had chemo the previous Tuesday. And yet, she actually can’t because Alyssa is not home yet from the basketball game that started at 7:00pm and should have probably ended at 8:30 at the latest. And Alyssa is not answering her phone. Why does she even have a phone if she doesn’t answer the damned thing?
Alyssa’s mom doesn’t feel like she can go to bed until she knows where Alyssa is and when Alyssa will be home. I mean, Alyssa is still only fourteen even if she does have friends who have driver’s license and CARS for Pete Sakes!
When Alyssa finally texts her mom to say that two of her friends are ‘bored’ and want to hang out, her mom is annoyed. But she responds with, “Where? You need to call me.”
Alyssa finally calls her mom fifteen minutes later and they talk. The friends want to hang out at a friend’s house in town. The parents are home and are okay with these last-minute plans.
Alyssa’s mom wants to know when Lyss will be home. Lyss doesn’t know.
Her mom decides for her. “You can hang out until eleven. Then you need to be home. I’m tired and you’re fourteen.”
Alyssa, smart girl that she is, agrees to be home at 11:00.
Mom settles in, all achy and yuck, to wait until 11:00 to go to bed. She’s not thrilled about it but vaguely remembers being a teenager about a million years ago and wants her daughter to enjoy this time of her life.
But there will be a conversation when the teenager gets home that evening. Or maybe it will wait until morning when Mom feels a little better and is rested.
The conversation, when it happens, goes well and Alyssa understands. She gets why her mom needs to know where she is and needs some sort of idea of when she’ll be home. She remembers that she’s fourteen (sure, she’ll be fifteen in a month but still…)
Then…THEN!!! Sunday evening rolls around.
It’s 7:20. Alyssa asks if Funniest Home Videos is on that night.
I (I know I’m changing from third person to first person when referring to myself…I don’t care.) pause as I’m washing dishes to tell her that yes, it’s on right that very minute.
“What?” she exclaims. “I thought it started at 8:00.”
“It has been starting at 8:00 but tonight it went back to a start time of 7:00.”
“Why?” she demands to know, like I’m privy to the scheduling reasons of ABC.
I shrug and wash a plate.
She then said, rather hesitantly, “Well, I kind of wanted to know if Nina could come over and watch Funniest Home Videos.”
“Tonight?” I asked.
See, let me pause here in this narrative and mentioned that I consider myself an outgoing introvert. I can be social and friendly but I get absolutely no energy from other people. Other people, even my own beautiful, loving family, suck my energy dry and I NEED alone time to re-energize. So having people over saps me.
But I do realize that teenagers thrive on friends and spending time with said friends. And so…
Lyss sort of hung her head and appeared to almost wish she hadn’t asked the question but she didn’t take the question back. She nodded and waited for my answer.
I mentioned the sudden plans to Tom. He started to get loud. I told him that I thought we should allow it that night but going forward, Alyssa needed (she was in earshot, listening to this entire conversation) to give us more than twenty minutes’ notice if/when friends were coming over.
I informed her, as I said, she was RIGHT THERE, that we’d allow the visit from Nina that night but going forward, if she asked for such a thing in the future, the answer would be no. If she wants to have company, she needs to give us at least a few hours’ notice, preferably making such plans a day in advance if possible.
I know that teenagers are notorious for deciding at 6pm that they’re bored and deciding to hang with friends at 6:30 that same night.
But I am no longer a teenager and I don’t want to deal with such sudden plans. I don’t feel good enough these days to put up with those kinds of shenanigans.
And I will use the “You know, ordinarily it wouldn’t be a big deal but…chemo!” excuse with much liberty these days. I have to deal with all the side effects of chemo, I should get at least the smallest benefits (other than the, hopefully, never having cancer BIG main effect of it…)
Anyway, all this to say that teenagers and their sudden changes of plans might lead me straight to a padded cell yet.
But wait. Alyssa also has a mom who is going through chemo and doesn’t always feel well and she has a dad, who, while wonderful and helpful and awesome before 7pm, tends to pass out on the couch by 7:10pm.
One of Lyss’s new friends is a junior. A junior who drives. Yay!
Yay?
Sure, great. New friend can take Lyss to the required basketball games at which the band must play and bust out the pep.
The problem comes when Alyssa’s mom wants to go to bed at 9:30 on a Friday night after she’s had chemo the previous Tuesday. And yet, she actually can’t because Alyssa is not home yet from the basketball game that started at 7:00pm and should have probably ended at 8:30 at the latest. And Alyssa is not answering her phone. Why does she even have a phone if she doesn’t answer the damned thing?
Alyssa’s mom doesn’t feel like she can go to bed until she knows where Alyssa is and when Alyssa will be home. I mean, Alyssa is still only fourteen even if she does have friends who have driver’s license and CARS for Pete Sakes!
When Alyssa finally texts her mom to say that two of her friends are ‘bored’ and want to hang out, her mom is annoyed. But she responds with, “Where? You need to call me.”
Alyssa finally calls her mom fifteen minutes later and they talk. The friends want to hang out at a friend’s house in town. The parents are home and are okay with these last-minute plans.
Alyssa’s mom wants to know when Lyss will be home. Lyss doesn’t know.
Her mom decides for her. “You can hang out until eleven. Then you need to be home. I’m tired and you’re fourteen.”
Alyssa, smart girl that she is, agrees to be home at 11:00.
Mom settles in, all achy and yuck, to wait until 11:00 to go to bed. She’s not thrilled about it but vaguely remembers being a teenager about a million years ago and wants her daughter to enjoy this time of her life.
But there will be a conversation when the teenager gets home that evening. Or maybe it will wait until morning when Mom feels a little better and is rested.
The conversation, when it happens, goes well and Alyssa understands. She gets why her mom needs to know where she is and needs some sort of idea of when she’ll be home. She remembers that she’s fourteen (sure, she’ll be fifteen in a month but still…)
Then…THEN!!! Sunday evening rolls around.
It’s 7:20. Alyssa asks if Funniest Home Videos is on that night.
I (I know I’m changing from third person to first person when referring to myself…I don’t care.) pause as I’m washing dishes to tell her that yes, it’s on right that very minute.
“What?” she exclaims. “I thought it started at 8:00.”
“It has been starting at 8:00 but tonight it went back to a start time of 7:00.”
“Why?” she demands to know, like I’m privy to the scheduling reasons of ABC.
I shrug and wash a plate.
She then said, rather hesitantly, “Well, I kind of wanted to know if Nina could come over and watch Funniest Home Videos.”
“Tonight?” I asked.
See, let me pause here in this narrative and mentioned that I consider myself an outgoing introvert. I can be social and friendly but I get absolutely no energy from other people. Other people, even my own beautiful, loving family, suck my energy dry and I NEED alone time to re-energize. So having people over saps me.
But I do realize that teenagers thrive on friends and spending time with said friends. And so…
Lyss sort of hung her head and appeared to almost wish she hadn’t asked the question but she didn’t take the question back. She nodded and waited for my answer.
I mentioned the sudden plans to Tom. He started to get loud. I told him that I thought we should allow it that night but going forward, Alyssa needed (she was in earshot, listening to this entire conversation) to give us more than twenty minutes’ notice if/when friends were coming over.
I informed her, as I said, she was RIGHT THERE, that we’d allow the visit from Nina that night but going forward, if she asked for such a thing in the future, the answer would be no. If she wants to have company, she needs to give us at least a few hours’ notice, preferably making such plans a day in advance if possible.
I know that teenagers are notorious for deciding at 6pm that they’re bored and deciding to hang with friends at 6:30 that same night.
But I am no longer a teenager and I don’t want to deal with such sudden plans. I don’t feel good enough these days to put up with those kinds of shenanigans.
And I will use the “You know, ordinarily it wouldn’t be a big deal but…chemo!” excuse with much liberty these days. I have to deal with all the side effects of chemo, I should get at least the smallest benefits (other than the, hopefully, never having cancer BIG main effect of it…)
Anyway, all this to say that teenagers and their sudden changes of plans might lead me straight to a padded cell yet.
Thursday, November 2, 2017
The Kindness of Friends
As noted in yesterday’s chemo diary, I received a hat in the mail from Julie just this past Saturday. It was much appreciated.
I have been so blessed to have some amazing friends, far and near, as my family and I go through this whole cancer diagnosis, surgery, chemo thing.
Julie has sent me some awesome gifts, usually arriving just when I need them, even though I didn’t know I needed them until they arrived in my mailbox or on my doorstep. Her kindness, thoughtfulness, generosity humbles me.
The parents of some of Alyssa’s friends have shown so much kindness during this time. Their willingness to step up and do things that I simply can’t do right now shows so much grace and makes me want to be a better person.
The Porch family has brought Alyssa home from more football games in the past couple of months than I can count. Sure, we’re only a mile out of their way but still…I have never once had to ask them to do this, Mrs. Porch has just called or texted the day of the game and informed me, “We’ll be bringing Alyssa home tonight, stay in, stay warm.”
So kind. So sweet. It brings tears to my eyes.
This coming weekend Alyssa has an honors choir thing in Defiance, Ohio (about an hour drive from our town.) On Monday, Alyssa’s friend Serena’s mom texted me and said she’d gotten together with another friend’s mom. They’d decided that Serena’s mom would take the girls to the Saturday morning practice and Tessa’s mom would bring them all home. That same afternoon, Tessa’s mom texted to suggest that Lyss go home with Tessa after school and she’d (the mom) take the girls to Defiance for the Thursday practice.
All I have to do is rest and stay healthy enough to attend the performance in Defiance on Sunday afternoon.
I am blown away by how much everyone is doing for us. These little things mean the world when you’re feeling gross and tired and, at times, completely overwhelmed by all that needs to be done and the energy to do none of it.
Now…if someone would just come and clean my bathrooms...
I have been so blessed to have some amazing friends, far and near, as my family and I go through this whole cancer diagnosis, surgery, chemo thing.
Julie has sent me some awesome gifts, usually arriving just when I need them, even though I didn’t know I needed them until they arrived in my mailbox or on my doorstep. Her kindness, thoughtfulness, generosity humbles me.
The parents of some of Alyssa’s friends have shown so much kindness during this time. Their willingness to step up and do things that I simply can’t do right now shows so much grace and makes me want to be a better person.
The Porch family has brought Alyssa home from more football games in the past couple of months than I can count. Sure, we’re only a mile out of their way but still…I have never once had to ask them to do this, Mrs. Porch has just called or texted the day of the game and informed me, “We’ll be bringing Alyssa home tonight, stay in, stay warm.”
So kind. So sweet. It brings tears to my eyes.
This coming weekend Alyssa has an honors choir thing in Defiance, Ohio (about an hour drive from our town.) On Monday, Alyssa’s friend Serena’s mom texted me and said she’d gotten together with another friend’s mom. They’d decided that Serena’s mom would take the girls to the Saturday morning practice and Tessa’s mom would bring them all home. That same afternoon, Tessa’s mom texted to suggest that Lyss go home with Tessa after school and she’d (the mom) take the girls to Defiance for the Thursday practice.
All I have to do is rest and stay healthy enough to attend the performance in Defiance on Sunday afternoon.
I am blown away by how much everyone is doing for us. These little things mean the world when you’re feeling gross and tired and, at times, completely overwhelmed by all that needs to be done and the energy to do none of it.
Now…if someone would just come and clean my bathrooms...
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