The second one was from her art teacher, who is frustrated with O’s lack of focus in her class. Sigh.
The third email was from the school psychologist who says Olivia is due for an eval by him but after talking to her teachers, he doesn’t think the evaluation is necessary and that we should just continue with her IEP as is. I mean, duh. It’s not like her diagnosis has changed.
The fourth message was from the speech therapist at the school. She wanted to let me know that she wasn’t aware that O wasn’t going to have the evaluation with the psychologist and so she’d done her own testing and wanted to know if I was okay with her using those results at our IEP meeting. She was also sweet about saying how proud of how far Olivia has come since she started working with Ms. B back when O was in 1st grade. That was very kind of her.
I was about to say that it’s weird how some of O’s teachers/therapists click with her and adore her and see how hard she works while others just see the frustrating parts of her but you know what? It’s not really that weird. We all have people with whom we click and people with whom we don’t. That’s just a symptom of being human.
Ms. S, the art teacher, actually really does like Olivia. She just wants Olivia to try. And sometimes, most of the time, actually, she does. But then there are days, or even weeks, where Liv is just…not into it. And when that happens, it’s really hard to motivate her.
The night I got the email from Ms. S, I had a talk with Olivia. I waited until O was in bed and knelt by her bed. I rubbed her hair and asked her, “You know you’re smart, right?”
She kind of shrugged at me.
I told her, “You are so smart. You really are. Sure, there are things that are hard for you but that’s okay. You keep trying. Heck, I hate math and gym too.”
She laughed at this.
“But even the things that are hard for us, we have to keep trying. And even when we get bored, we have to try and stay focused. That’s kind of your job at school, to focus on the class you’re in and get through it.”
I asked her if she didn’t like the current type of art they’re working on. She said she liked it okay but it’s confusing to her and she isn’t sure how to do what Ms. S wants her to do.
I told her that it’s okay to ask Ms. S for clarification. I gave her some words to use and reminded her that Ms. S is the teacher, that it’s her job to explain what she wants in ways that Liv understands. I offered to email Ms. S to let her know that O is confused about the current lesson. Liv asked me to wait until next week, to see if she could either figure it out or ask her teacher herself. That, my dears, is maturity if I ever saw it.
She’s trying over here. I think she’s seeing her peers do things that are hard for her and she’s measuring herself by the same standards and feels like she’s failing. That makes me sad and makes me want to kee reminding her that she’s got her own strengths, her own struggles and she’s doing her best and in the end, that is enough.
She is enough. She always has been and she always will be. I just need to keep saying the words until she believes them.
