Taking My Own Advice

I was talking to a co-worker the other day about a friend who is always VERY busy with her daughter and her husband’s ‘hobbies’ and I wondered aloud what my friend does for herself.

The co-worker gave me a look and I laughed, saying, “Yeah, I don’t do a lot for myself either, do I?”

It’s hard when you’re a wife and mom and a full-time employee to carve out time to do something that is solely for you.

Right, Julie? J

But I know that we have to try because in fifteen years, when our kids are all grown up and living independently of us, where will we be?

I can tell you one place I won’t be and that’s in a strawberry patch picking strawberries. Nope. That is NOT me time.

But what would I do with my time if my husband and children weren’t a factor?

Ummm…

I’m not sure. I’ve been doing this wife/mom thing for over sixteen years. It’s just who I am. But I know that I’m more than that too.

I want to be an advocate for cancer survivors and for special-needs kids and moms. I’d love to either join or heck, even start a support group for cancer patients/survivors who are just trying to figure out their new normal, whatever that means.

I know that caregivers live lives of solitude and I’d like to figure out how to fix that.

I saw my cousin this past weekend. Her daughter had spinal surgery a couple of months ago for scoliosis. S has been bedridden ever since. The outing over the weekend was the first time S was allowed out of bed since her surgery. She looked great, by the way.

My cousin, S’s mom? She looked exhausted. I can’t begin to imagine the loneliness she feels being at home with a child who can’t get out of bed. She has her own health issues but I’m pretty sure she can’t address them right now because, well, see the above paragraph about a bedridden child.

I know that while I was going through treatments, Tom and my mom both had some moments of being overwhelmed by being my caregivers. And hey, I was never bedridden, so there’s that.

During my months off work, I didn’t get our house into shape as I’d thought I might. I didn’t get any painting done or cleaning or organizing. I did make a blanket for my brother that I gave him for Christmas. But sewing is not my passion.

I think I need to find my passion. I want to. Can I? Will I?

I guess we’ll see.