The YouTubes

Olivia has discovered ASMR. Google it, I’ll wait.

She enjoys watching a woman who called herself Honee Bee (Her real name is Naomi, much to Alyssa’s consternation.) and another lady who calls herself Pita (I think it’s short for Lupita but whatever.)

These two women whisper into their microphones, they tap things with their fingernails and mostly, they eat food. Sometimes the food is crunchy, sometimes slurpy. Pica is pretty funny.

I can stand these two on the television when O watches them.

Alyssa says I’m pretty tolerant of things like that.

But I cannot stand this one YouTuber that Olivia has discovered.

No.

This girl/woman (I’m 50 years old, have I mentioned? Everyone under 40 is of indiscriminate age as far as I’m concerned. Seriously, this person could be 20, she could be 36, who the hell knows?) is so, so, so annoying.

She makes weird faces, she makes stupid jokes. She’s not funny, she’s just offensive.

Olivia, who is fourteen, let’s remember, thinks the woman is hilarious. She seriously screams laughter while watching Liza (I think that’s her name, again, who knows or even cares?)

I tried to sit through a video. It’s how I came to find that Honee Bee and Pita are fine as background noise.

No.

I told Olivia she had to turn down the volume on Liza because I couldn’t stand it. For what it’s worth, Olivia likes to watch YouTube with the television volume turned up to like 65 (that’s actually not an exaggeration.) I tend to watch at 45 even when it’s something I’m enjoying so yes, 65 is way too loud for someone as obnoxious as Liza.

Olivia turned off the video and started to search for a different one.

I could tell she wasn’t having any luck finding something she wanted to watch so I offered to go to my room and let her have the living room to watch her choice of video.

She took me up on it. So I vacated the premises and we were all happy. Tom was in the family room, Alyssa was in her room. I was in my room and Olivia was in the living room. We’d all found a corner of the house and no one had to suffer through a YouTube channel that they hate.

All’s well that ends well.