Motivated

The four-day work/school week following Labor Day was long even though it was a ‘short’ week. Olivia had loads of homework each day, including the day she had to serve lunch detention for not doing her classwork in, you know, class. Because of all this homework, we did not get to go to my mom’s house on Tuesday or Wednesday. I told her, though, after we finished just under an hour of homework on Wednesday that if she worked really hard at school the next day and then came home and did the required spelling work (writing her spelling words four times each…yikes!) that we’d go to Gram’s for a little while. I even suggested to Olivia and her dad that perhaps they’d like to get a head start on her spelling homework before I got home on Thursday. Did I mention that she had to write each word four times? Yes? Well, did I also mention that there were 21 words on that list? Have I pounded it into everyone that Olivia struggles with her handwriting? Excellent. We’re all on the same page. Any bets on whether or not she’d started the spelling work before I got home? How about if I tell you that I was fifteen minutes later than usual because I had to go to the pharmacy after work and pick up a refill of her medicine? Yeah, you’re right, of course she didn’t start the spelling before I got home. Why would she? And, the better question is why would her dad bother himself to encourage her to get started? Okay. I will reel in my bitterness over being the sole homework helper in our house. It’s how we’re dividing the labor these days, get over it, right? Ahem. So we sat down and I told her that if it took her too long to write all 84 words we wouldn’t be able to go to Gram’s because she, Olivia, not Gram, needed to bathe that evening. Do you think that girl sat there and wrote her words without stopping for a straight twenty minutes? Well, she didn’t. But! She didn’t erase all that many and she didn’t ask for chocolate after the second word and she didn’t need constant redirection. Yes, she paused a few times to shake out her cramping hand and she did get up to get a drink of water about halfway through. But she got them done with minimal bitching from me and we were able to go spend about forty-five minutes at Liv’s Gram’s house and everyone was refueled by the visit. We may have found a source of motivation for this girl…maybe. I mean, it worked once but that doesn’t mean it will work ever again. But don’t think I won’t try it again very soon. Will report back on the success or lack of success in any future attempts at bribing her with a visit to Gram’s.

Picking Strawberries

So, Tom hurt himself (shhhhh, he doesn’t want me to tell anyone) and so he’s been kind of down for the count for about a week. He slammed his shoulder into the corner of an archway and yeah, he’s broken.

The day before he hurt himself, my mom invited us over to pick strawberries. She’s got a bad knee and so picking berries or any kind of gardening is kind out for her right now. She, because she’s smart, been to the doctor and is doing the things necessary to hopefully get better.

Tom…because he’s a stubborn dude, hasn’t seen a doctor but I made him start wearing a sling about three days after his injury. We’ll see how that goes.

Anyway. We picked strawberries on a Saturday. The following Tuesday afternoon I got home from work and the first thing Olivia asks me if if we can go to Gram’s.

I kind of shrug and say I don’t really want to.

But Tom pipes up with the suggestion that we do go to Gram’s because those strawberries aren’t going to pick themselves.

Sigh.

I hate picking strawberries.

I hate gardens in general because they’re so much work. There’s the planting, the weeding, the harvesting, the preserving of the harvest.

Ugh. So much work.

Alas, I am currently the only able-bodied adult in our immediate family and so the strawberry picking falls to me.

Tom instructed Alyssa to help…and she did, to a point.

But she’s a teenager, she doesn’t have a lot of gardening experience. She wandered around the strawberry patch, picking the occasional berry that caught her eye. She didn’t stop and bend and move the leaves of the plants and find all the berries that hide beneath the plants. And it’s fine. I didn’t tell her to do any of that.

About a half hour into our picking spree, she declared she was done. I think she might have swallowed a bug or touched a spider or something but she was completely over being outside in a strawberry patch. I made her trade bowls with me since mine was three-quarters full and hers was…not.

And to be fair to her, she’d been outside all day at high jump camp. She was tired too.

I picked for another twenty minutes or so, through my mom coming out onto her deck to yell that I could be done if I wanted to.

Yeah, except too bad for me, there were still berries to be picked.

All I could think about when I thought about quitting was that if Tom or my mom were out there and able to pick those stupid berries, neither of them would stop picking until there wasn’t a single ripe berry left to be picked.

Those two put the rest of us schlumps to shame. Their work ethic makes me feel like a lazy schmuck who never puts in a full day of work.

Which…isn’t necessarily wrong, but I don’t like to be made to feel like that. I mean, I fully admit to being lazy but it’s awful to be reminded of it on a regular basis.

But hey, to end on a positive note, since I sweated my ass off in a strawberry patch for over 45 minutes, bending and stretching and kneeling and wheezing, I didn’t have to drag my big, lazy butt out and walk that evening. Look at me, always looking for the bright side.

Hi Guys! Welcome Back to My Summer

The first day of summer started with Olivia climbing her little butt out of bed at 6:50am. And WHY would she got back to be when there was fan fiction to read and tablet games to play and dads to annoy?

Most school mornings I have to almost drag her out of bed. But that first morning? She was bright eyed and ready to start her summer.

Sadly for her (but mostly for me) I have to work this summer and so her summer isn’t going to be quite as fun as past summers have been.

Since I just started my job (you know, nine months ago) I don’t have a lot of vacation yet (I currently have four hours…HOURS) of paid vacation time. Sure, I also have four days of unpaid time (aka, personal time) available to me but who wants to go on a vacation and spend money when they’re not actually earning any money? Not me, I’ll tell you.

So we’re going to have to skip Cedar Point this year. We skipped it last year too since I wasn’t working and you know, that pesky money thing. I was also still recovering from radiation and so wanted to stay out of the sun and let some of the residual swelling at the surgical and radiation site go down.

We do plan to have a little fun this summer. I’ve found a really groovy sprinkler thing at Sam’s Club that can make your yard resemble a water park. No slide, alas, but it’s still really cool and it’s only $30.

My mom plans to take Liv and the boys (my nephews) to a really neat water park about twenty minutes from our house. I might take an afternoon off and join them once. It’s got slides, a pool, a wading pool, a hot tub, water cannon, etc. We went a couple of years ago and had a blast.

Since the local pool doesn’t open until 1:00 each day, I will probably take a few afternoons off this summer and take Liv to the pool. Alyssa, that weirdo, prefers the lake. Ick. I much prefer the lovely chlorine of a pool over the muck and sand and weeds in a lake. Alas, Olivia just likes water and so, in hopes of getting Lyss to go with us even a couple of times, I’ll probably suffer through a few visits to the lake. Of course, there are the weekends.

This year the 4th of July is on a Thursday, so we get the 5th off too as a holiday so yay, long weekend!! We’ll definitely do something.

I hope, though, that during all of her non-water time, Olivia will remember to put her tablet down even a little and read a book or three.

I’m not actually expecting this to happen…just hoping.

Of course, if I were a decent parent, I’d MAKE her read but since I’m not there all day, well, we know how well that plan will go down.

Confession: I was there all day every day last summer and I didn’t make her read. See above re: not a good parent.

Driving

Have I mentioned that Alyssa got her driver’s license in January?

No? How remiss of me. So sorry for that.

She did get it! She failed the first test because, well, the old dude who was testing her didn’t believe her when she told him she was just moving ahead to see if there was traffic coming. He felt she was about to pull into on-coming traffic. Yes.

But a week after the first test, she and the dude became besties and she drove away with her license.

She’s driven herself to school for about two weeks now (yes, it’s March, we had horrible weather in the last half of January and all of February) since track practice started.

She hasn’t yet driving with a passenger other than me and/or Tom with Olivia along for the ride.

Last night it was decided that the girls would spend the day with my mom. Right before bed, Olivia asked who was taking them to Gram’s.

I replied, “Lyssie will.”

Olivia stared at me for a moment and said, “Alone?”

I laughed. “Sure, she’s got her license.”

Olivia looked skeptical. She hasn’t ridden along with Lyss yet. Either Tom or I have always been with them.

I assured her, “It’ll be fine. Gram’s house isn’t too far away.”

“Hmmm,” Liv muttered, definitely thinking we were crazy for trusting Alyssa with Olivia’s precious life.

She did want to know, “But what about Lyssie’s track practice?”

“She’ll drive you guys over in the morning and then leave to go to practice,” I informed her.

“Will I just stay at Gram’s?”

“Yes, I’ll pick you up after I get off work.”

Again, she paused, taking it all in.

“Do you want to stay at Gram’s?” I asked.

“Yes, Gram has good tea,” she declared. “Sometimes, she gives me ice tea and hot tea at the same time. I like it when she does that.”

Well then.

Fair Day

The girls don't have school today. Every Monday after Labor Day, all schools in Williams County, Ohio, are closed so the kids can go to the county fair. Yay, Fair Day!! There are discounts on wristbands for riding the rides, there are goats, pigs, cows, rabbits, and horses. There is face painting and cotton candy. It's a fun day.

Every year since we've lived here, I've taken the day off to spend with the girls at the fair.

This year, I won't be doing that because I started a new job four weeks ago and I don't have vacation time yet. But it's okay. My mom will be doing the Gram thing and taking Liv to the fair. They will ride the Blueberry ride (it's like the Tea Cups except the cars are shaped like blueberries and strawberries, it's Liv's favorite ride) and they'll buy cotton candy. Because Lyss will probably not be with them, they will not visit the animals because, duh, we all know how Olivia feels about animals.

I will get home at 5:00 and O and I will head back to the fair to watch Alyssa and her band mates perform. This, too, is an annual thing. It will be fun, but don't ask Olivia her opinion because she will declare it is boring. I will bribe her with food.

Last year, I dragged myself to Fair Day even though I was six days post-surgery. It was important that I keep living, keep doing all the things. It's still important but sometimes, life gets in the way of living, you know?

Next year I will have been at my job for a year. Next year I will take Fair Day off and spend with my lovelies. Until then, we'll just keep on keeping on.

Being Useful

I'm learning that I'm better when I'm busy.

I'm really good at sitting in the recliner and binge watching Netflix shows. But that's not really good for me. I feel kind of awful after a few hours of sitting in that chair. Even if some of that time is spent sleeping (which is actually better sleep than in my bed...remind me to tell you about how much work it feels like to try and sleep a night in my bed...)

Last weekend an old co-worker called me. He wanted to let me know that another co-worker was turning 50 and his (the birthday boy's) parents were taking him out for pizza. I created a FB group for my old co-workers to keep in touch. The one who called me asked if I'd post on that page letting people know about J's bday and maybe inviting anyone who wanted to surprise him.

I was happy to do this.

Within a couple of hours of my post, we had about twenty people saying they'd be there. It was great.

The party was set for Thursday.

I felt pretty crappy Thursday. I spent a lot of time in the recliner. I slept, I ate waffles, I watched all the episodes of season 2 of Selling Houses with Sarah Beeny. Then I decided I was going to shower because, damn it, I wanted to see my old co-workers.

That shower was exhausting. But I did it. And then I rested. Then I got in my car and drove twenty-five minutes to the pizza place. And I ate pizza and visited with people I hadn't seen in over two months.

I took off my hat to show off my hair growth and had people tell me how great I look. That was lovely and all but the best part was...I felt better. Getting out of the house, surprising J on his birthday, laughing and just seeing people I hadn't seen in a while was so nice.

Alyssa's got her school musical coming up.

When I went to the parent meeting for this musical about two months ago, I signed up to help with hair and makeup. I mean, I do Liv's hair every single day. How hard can it be to help out?

While at the meeting the mom in charge of costumes asked me if I had any ideas for one of Lyss's costumes (she's got four parts...it was five but she had to step out of one of them due to impossible costume changes.) I told L that my mom was great with a sewing machine and that she'd be happy to make Lyss's Blue Bird costume (it's awesome, I mean, seriously amazing.) Oh dear. I didn't realize what I was signing my poor mom up for. She's made costumes for Blue Bird, Donkey, Elf, young Shrek and so many more small projects. She's been amazing.

For my part, I have attended several practices to help with whatever I can possible help with. I've sewn a few hems, ripped out a few seams, etc. But it's the fact that I'm needed, even if just a little, that makes me get up and go to these practices.

I want to be useful. I want to get things done. I want to feel good and even when I don't, knowing there are things that need to be done and people counting on me helps me push past any discomfort and get up and get going.

I think that's the best thing for me.

Heck, some days I feel like I've accomplished something if I just get a load of laundry done from start to finish. It's the little things.

I also remind myself that this part of my life is not permanent. I won't always feel awful just from trying to sleep in my bed. Only three more chemo treatments. It's pretty great to be able to say that, if nothing else.

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I'm tired of talking about chemo and cancer. I'm tired of thinking about it. Maybe that's why I've been quiet here for the past couple of weeks. Sorry about that.

Alyssa has kept us busy with other things, though. She distracts me from my level 2 pain and my sleeplessness. She gets her braces off next Tuesday (one week to go!) She's so excited. I'm excited for her. It will be nice to enjoy her last three years of high school brace free. I will miss that metal mouth smile, though.

But on the bright side, Liv will probably get braces in the next year or two and I can enjoy her brace face for a few years.

Musical practice (I'm not allowed to call it play practice, per Alyssa J. Ordinary) is going well-ish. Mrs. F, the choir teacher and the director of the musical kind of stretches play practice as needed, which frustrates the parents of the kids who can't drive themselves. I've been REALLY lucky that Lyss's friend Tess and her mom usually bring Lyss home from practice. But I feel for Tess's mom because she's the one who often has to wait in the parking lot of the school for a half hour or more as practices goes over the allotted time. The musical they're putting on is Shrek. Alyssa has five parts. She's worked so freaking hard. I'm so proud of her I can't stand it.

My mom, the saint, got volunteered by someone to help with costumes. I will not confess to being that someone who volunteered her. It's not my fault she's so great with a sewing machine. She shouldn't have developed such skill if she didn't want me to brag about it and get her roped into making about seventeen costumes play musical.

Olivia is...Olivia. She's reading like a champ, struggling with math, stubborn as a mule while managing to keep us all laughing. She argues with her dad as if they're opposing lawyers in a criminal trial. She's so smart and yet sometimes, channeling that intelligences is tough. Her teachers are amazing.

Tom continues to be a source of strength for our family. He helps so much. His support humbles me. When we started this journey, I felt a lot of guilt over needing him and I felt I didn't deserve him. I've changed my mind. He's great but I do deserve all that he does for us. I'd do the same for him. That's what marriage is all about. Sometimes one person takes more than the other but at some point, I will be able to give to him and our family again and knowing that makes this a little easier.

Three more chemos. I meet the radiologist in a week. More to report soon, I guess.

Apple Fest

On Saturday on our way to the grocery store, my mom invited me and the girls to join her in a visit to a nearby town that was having its annual Apple Fest.

It sounded like fun so the girls and I said, “Let’s do it!” and plans were set.

When we got home that afternoon, I informed Tom of our Sunday plans and he mildly wondered at the last-minuteness of it all.

I thought about it for a few seconds and then mused, “Well, you know, I probably only have two more good weekends before things start going downhill again. I mean, I start chemo in nine days and who knows how it’s going to affect me? So we have this weekend and next. And since the weather is so beautiful, why not?”

He wasn’t actually looking for a reason not for us to go, he just worried about me tiring myself out. But I’m feeling so much better today and even last Monday and I wanted to enjoy the time with my mom and my girls.

It was CROWDED. I swear, there were more people there than are usually at Cedar Point on a Tuesday in the middle of summer. But like I said, the weather was great and it was a festival in October, why not be out and about?

The bees were out in full force too.

We shopped the booths (I bought a jar of ‘smelly jelly’ that is scented with lavender, I’m putting it by my bed.) We looked at awesome slouch hats that my mom thinks she can make for me once my hair falls out.

We watched a forty-five minute musical show with high school students that was amusing (at times) and about three songs too long.

Alyssa got a wooden ‘flute’. It’s a recorder and she told us no fewer than five times how much she HATES it when people call recorders flutes. Ha. Poor misunderstood flute player.

Olivia got a mermaid necklace that she immediately put on and declared that whenever she wears the necklace, she’s a mermaid and when she takes it off, she becomes human again.

Alyssa told her that doesn’t make sense since she was walking around on her TWO FEET while wearing the necklace.

I told the teenager to give the ten year old a break and stopped to buy some caramel corn.

Unfortunately for me, the long-ass line for the caramel corn was not worth it because the caramel was slightly scorched. Just enough to make it less delicious than it might have been had it NOT been burned. Though on the bright side, I bonded with a mom of three who was in line behind me for the caramel corn. Her kids were probably six, five and three. And they were driving her crazy with their tussling. I turned around when she told them to stop acting like hooligans.

I told her, “I have to remind my two to stop being lunatics on an almost constant basis.”

She laughed and said, “I just want them to pretend I’m a good mom while we’re in public.”

I commiserated with her. “I tell mine all the time to stop making me be mean to them.”

Anyway, for all the downs there were way more ups and I’m so, so glad we went. Even though Olivia complained about 80% of the time and Alyssa complained the other 20%.

I did inform them as we walked the fifty-two miles to the car (did I mention that it seemed like the entire population of Chicago descended upon Kendallville yesterday?) that next year, Gram and I are going along.

They both argued vehemently that they did NOT complain that much and why would we punish them so much as to make them stay home with their Dad?

As much as I love those two, I admit to doing a lot of eye rolling when they’re not looking.

But hey, yay apples.