Thursday, November 6, 2014

Being Heard

So there is something that I do that drives my husband crazy. And I’m trying to figure out how to stop doing it because I understand why it bothers him. But it’s so, so hard to fix it when you’re the mom.

Example: This morning, I asked Tom if it was raining. Before he could even answer, or perhaps as he was answering, I was yelling at the girls to stop pestering each other.

He got all pouty because I didn’t listen to his answer to a question I asked.

I know. I can’t help it.

Sometimes, he’ll be talking to me and I’ll actually be listening. But then one of the girls (or, more often than not, both of them) will call out to me and I’ll stop listening to Tom so I can listen to them.

This makes him pouty too.

I get it. I really do. I understand how frustrating it must be to be talking to your spouse and have them stop listening in the middle of your sentence because the children have suddenly become more important.

But see, the thing is, they sort of are more important. At least, they are right this second. They’re needs are usually pretty immediate.

Here’s another thing, I’m the most important person in the house to all three of them. I don’t say that with conceit so much as with a sense of being overwhelmed. When any one of them has something to say, they want to say it to me. When they have big news, I’m the first they want to tell. I’m lucky that way. But I’m also only one person and when three people, two of whom are children, are vying for my attention, someone has to get the short straw. And more often than not, it’s Tom.

And he’s the adult, he can wait.

Except when he can’t. Because it really isn’t fair for him to always be last on the priority list. I know this and I’m working on it. I really am, even if he sometimes can’t tell.

I’m not sure he sees the times when he’s talking to me and one of the girls will come up and start to talk, at which point, I put up a finger to shush and stall her and continue to listen to my husband.

Because he has things to say, important things, things that he deserves to have heard by his loyal and dutiful wife. Or, you know, me.

1 comment:

Kandi Ann said...

Unless one of your girls is hurt, the should wait and not interupt, it shows them a strong marriage. It shows them, life doesnt revolve around them and to consider others feelings too.