Radio Silence

I don’t know.

I mean, yes, I know that I haven’t been posting.

I’ve been writing. I just haven’t been posting.

I don’t know why.

I feel like I’m in limbo.

I don’t even know why.

Day to day life is fine. I feel fine.

The girls are fine.

Tom is still broken, which saddens me.

We’re going out our days, doing what needs to be done.

But I worry that we’re marking time; not really moving forward.

What am I waiting for; the next scan…the next mammogram…the next appointment with the next doctor?

I don’t want to live like this.

I want to get beyond cancer and what it’s done to me and my family.

I wonder if I need to volunteer or something like that. Should I be giving back to the community I never even wanted to join?

My cancer diagnosis put my work (ha!) with Share Your Story on what is apparently permanent hiatus. I just never made it back after going to tell them about the cancer.

I want to help people beyond myself but I haven’t yet figured out how.

What’s next?