Blue

I want to paint our front porch ceiling blue. Tom thinks that’s stupid. I don’t actually care what he thinks. But…I have to figure out how to tell him that gently without hurting his feelings. He’s not used to me not caring what he thinks. I’ve mentioned that he has an opinion on everything. Well, sometimes, I don’t actually want his opinion. I just want him to let me do what I want to do and accept that I’ve done it. Like painting the porch ceiling blue. I’m not talking some heinous, bright blue. Duh. Lots of people paint their porch ceilings blue. It’s an actual thing. And honestly, our porch ceiling is currently nasty. Rust, wear and tear, twenty four years of yuck have accumulated on that thing. You’d think he’d want me to paint it because I’d obviously have to do some pre-paint prep which would involve cleaning, priming, etc. So…just let me do my thing. Here’s the thing…I want to start living more authentically. Gosh, that sounds so…pretentious. But even if it is pretentious, it’s also true. I want to stop tiptoeing around other people, even my husband and just live my life how I want. I want to paint my ceiling blue and I want to bring more green into my bathroom. I want take more walks and be in less pain. I want to enjoy moments of every single day. I know I have to continue to work. I know Olivia will continue to have homework. I will keep doing what needs to be done but I also want to do things that just make us happy. As long as those things aren’t hurting anyone else, what’s the harm in finding and doing things that makes us happy every day? Like painting our porch ceiling blue.