Curfew

Alyssa’s growing up. She’s trying to spread her wings and I love that for her.

Her dad, though, wants to keep her safe.

I get both sides.

I want her to feel a sense of independence. I want her to be free and have fun.

But like him, I want her to be safe too. And when she’s out, I worry about her until she gets home but I know we can’t wrap her in bubble wrap and stash her in the basement.

So what do we do?

She wants to be able to go out and not watch the clock constantly, worrying about getting home in time for what she feels is an arbitrary curfew.

Maybe I need to do a poll and see what other parents have set as a summer curfew for their seventeen year olds.

See, I get it. Alyssa works Fridays, Saturdays and Sunday from 7am to 3pm. She can’t go out Thursday, Friday or Saturday nights much past 9pm because she has to get up at 6 for work.

N works weekends too, only she’s on the 3pm to 11pm shift. So they don’t see each other on the weekends.

N has Tuesdays and Wednesdays off. This is perfect for Lyss because it means they’d can go out, hang out, do whatever it is teenagers od these days. But…those days are ‘week nights’ and Tom thinks Lyss should be home by 10 on weeknights.

Her argument is that because she and N work weekends, Tuesdays and Wednesdays should really count as weekends for them and thus, they should be able to stay out late.

And remember, it’s SUMMER.

Another thing is that Alyssa is a REALLY GOOD person. She gets straight A’s. She has never missed a day of work. I really, truly don’t think midnight on a summer night when she doesn’t have to work the next day is that big a deal. I mean, they’re usually just hanging out at N’s house anyway. They don’t cause trouble, they don’t go out ‘cruising’.

But I have to figure out how to gently suggest all this to Tom because he’d a dude and needs to think this is all his idea or he’ll dig in his heels and ‘stick to his guns’ just on the basis of principle.

Sigh.

I hate being in the middle of it all. I mean, yes, I’m her parent too and I am his spouse and I want them both to be happy. I can see both sides and I think there has to be a compromise. Right?

What time do your teenagers come home on summer nights when they don’t have to be anywhere the next day?