A Blue Sweater

I wear a sweater to work almost every day. And by sweater, I mean the kind like a cardigan rather than those that are pulled over your head. I have several, obviously. Once upon a time, I had two black sweaters, a blue (royal-ish/navy-ish) one, a light gray sweater and two beige sweaters in different lenths.

Alas, my blue sweater sprung a leak. Aka, it got an enormous hole in it right under my right armpit; it was almost as if the stench under there was so strong it couldn’t be contained. So sad.

One of my black sweaters got a really bad snag and also had to be retired.

Which brings me down to one black sweater, one light gray and two beige. I only really wear one of the beige sweaters.

The other one is just a really unfortunate beige and because of this, I decided, AHA! I’d dye the unfortunate beige one navy blue. The cost of a bottle of dye is much less than a new blue sweater.

Remember that one time I dyed something and it took me five thousand trips up and down the stairs from the kitchen to the basement and back again into infinity? Yeah, this time around the dyeing process was much smoother.

I read the instructions…I followed the instructions. I even noted on the instructions that this dye was not recommended for acrylic.

Huh.

Guess what I didn’t do?

I didn’t check to see what this unfortunate beige sweater was made out of. Can you say foreshadowing?

I went through the entire dyeing process. I made the machine do a pre-soak of the sweater in the blue dye.

I went down an hour later to check the status of the sweater.

I opened the washer…I took out…an unfortunate beige sweater.

The little string that is attached to the shoulder to keep the sweater on a hanger was blue, so I didn’t imagine the entire dyeing process.

I checked the tag. Guess what that stupid, unfortunate beige sweater is made of?

Need a minute?

Let me give you a hint…ACRYLIC. Gross, nasty feeling acrylic. No wonder I hardly ever wear that stupid sweater, the unfortunate beige color notwithstanding.

Which means, obviously, that I am now out the cost of a bottle of dye AND I need to buy a new blue sweater. (I wear a lot of blue, which is why it’s necessary for me to own a blue sweater. The girls’ school colors are blue and gray, another reason for wanting/needing a blue sweater. Not that I have to justify my desire to buy a blue sweater, I mean…ahem.)