Sanctuary

The services for my aunt Nell were on a Friday. The visitation was the Thursday evening before the services.

Tom and I decided that Olivia is old enough and mature enough to attend both the visitation and the services.

Alyssa had to work Thursday evening so she couldn’t come to the visitation but she did come to the services.

Because I’m that mom, I sent the girls to school for two hours that Friday. I mean, it was only fair, I went to work for three hours so…

The service was lovely. Grammy Dotty was adorable. She arrived about ten minutes late, made her way to the front row, talking to everyone she passed, saying, “Ohh, hi, sugar!”

Remember, she’s 94, mostly deaf and blind in one eye. She deserves a lot of slack.

My mom and all but one of my aunts got up to talk about their sister Nell. They told stories from their childhood, talked about Nell’s candor and her strength, her enormous capacity to love.

After each person finished speaking, Grammy Dotty asked, “Oh, I wish I could hear! Can I get a transcript of that?”

It lightened the tone of the service and made people chuckle.

After the service, we all headed down to the basement of the church where the ladies of the community had prepared food for us. Well, okay. The ladies of the community DID prepare food but my mom, her sisters, my cousin’s wife, and even I made plenty of the food too.

The girls and I managed to get to the bathroom first immediately after the service. Ha on all the ladies who were waiting outside that door when the three of us filed out, like a mother duck and her little ducklings. Sorry, ladies, you snooze, you risk peeing your pants!

After we spent a ridiculous amount of time in the bathroom, A and O and I made our way to the basement.

For reference, this is the church I grew up going to vacation bible school in. It’s also the church where Tom and I got married. We had Amy’s funeral service there two years ago.

Though, let me be honest here, I don’t remember it smelling vaguely of urine any of those times. This time…the urine smell was quite unpleasant…vague but unpleasant.

Also, this church has not been updated in, oh, at least 40 years. Same carpet as when I attended for VBS, same pews, same tables and chairs in the basement.

But it’s kind of nice that some things never change. I do so hope, though, that someone will Fabreze the hell out of the carpet and pews some time soon. That urine smell could change and we’d all be happy. Just saying.

After partaking of the luxurious lunch provided by the lovely ladies of the Metz community (I am only being slightly sarcastic here…) Olivia was bored.

She’d had two and a half servings of beef and noodles, half a brownie, two cups of sweet tea, a cup of green jello with melted whipped cream. She was stuffed and ready to recline.

She’s also sat there listening to Jaxon lament the woes of young love. Apparently, there’s a girl in his class (he’s in 5th grade…FIFTH GRADE, for the love of Pete!) and they talked a bit, then he ‘caught feelings’ and then she ‘caught feelings’ and now she’s his girlfriend. (Is ‘caught feelings’ a thing the young pups of this world are saying? It’s weird, but whatever.)

Then he started standing on one foot, leaning like a fool, stating, over and over and over again, telling us that he’s the only one in his class who has to lean like that when they stand on one foot. What are they doing in his fifth grade class?

I, fool that I am, suggested that perhaps he has scoliosis, which is why he has to lean in order to stay standing when he’s only on one foot. This set him off an a scoliosis tangent that is probably still going even all these days/weeks later. Sigh.

So Olivia asked me if I had any paper and a writing implement with which she could doodle.

I told her I had something in my purse, which was in my car. She lit up. We could LEAVE that basemen (and, coincidentally, Jaxon and his new scoliosis fear) and go get the pen and paper from my car.

Which we did. Because I’m an accommodating mother. Also, I was really looking for an excuse to escape that boy too. We’re bad relatives but he’s also an odd duck.

Once we’d retrieved the notepad and pen, Olivia suggested we go to the sanctuary, which was blessedly quiet. There were a few people in there, but not nearly as many as were in the basement. The sun was shining in the tall windows and there was just a sense of peace in the air.

Olivia kicked off her boots (tangent: she needs to start wearing socks with those boots. When she doesn’t her feet REEK after she takes off the boots) and her the smell of her feet competed with the smell of urine in the air.

I didn’t stick around long to see which odor won.

I talked to my cousin Chet (he’s Nell’s son). I helped my mom and her sisters take down the displays they’d put up the day before. I carried vases of flowers out to my mom’s car. I hugged my cousin’s wife and thanked her for all she’d done.

I checked on Olivia and her feet a few times but she told me that I didn’t have to stay around her. She’d found a quiet place to doodle and was happy as a stuffed clam in that sanctuary.

I loved watching her in that pew. She seemed peaceful, relaxed. That’s not a state Olivia is usually in when we’re out and about.

I don’t know if it’s the meds, the calm of the church, the presence of God. But something about that moment struck me. My girl is growing up. We’ll have times when we backtrack but right now, we’re moving forward and I thank God for that every single day.