Wednesday, June 24, 2020

Literally Olivia

Remember that exercise where you have to describe how to do something and the person following the directions is really obnoxious about it?

We did it during RA training back at IU a hundred and twelve years ago. We, the RA trainees, had to tell our trainers (the ACs – aka Assistant Coordinators) how to make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

But we had to be REALLY detailed because they acted like they didn’t know how to open a stupid jar of jelly or what to use to spread the peanut butter.

Yeah.

So.

That’s kind of what it’s like to raise a child like Olivia.

She can be so sweet and so funny and these days she’s REALLY loving.

And yet…she is so literal. You have to watch every single word that comes out of your mouth because if you misspeak even one word in a sentence of eleventy hundred, she’ll latch on to that one word you messed up and won’t let it go.

And sometimes, I swear to Rob Thomas, she deliberately mishears something just so she can argue with you.

It’s beyond frustrating and into infuriating.

There have been times when I have to step out of the room before I lose my freaking mind.

Yes, I am mother of the century over here.

I know. I know. I AM grateful that she speaks so well and often so eloquently. I am grateful that she can be so deep as to pick up on nuances and inflection.

But the literal stance she takes on your word choices is insane.

She also had to make sure everyone hears and acknowledges everything she says. She has a lot of good ideas. I love that she’s so imaginative. She’s clever and smart and is always thinking.

But she often thinks out loud and she wants EVERYONE to hear her thoughts.

Even if we’re all in the same room, she’ll say something and if I’m the only one to reply to her comment, she’ll go stand in front of Tom and repeat herself and then she’ll go stand beside Alyssa and repeat it AGAIN, just to be sure everyone in the room can appreciate her brilliance.

And wait, one more bit of… grievance? Is that what this is, a bitch session about O’s idiosyncracies? Maybe. Maybe I’m just documenting her personality at 13. Yes. Let’s go with that. I’m not complaining so much as I’m documenting.

Except this next one is a complaint and I’ve told her more times than I can count that it irritates me.

We can be in the middle of a conversation. We’ve had several exchanges where she talks, I talk and then she talks some more but then, all of a sudden, she’ll have to start her next statement with, “Mom?”

And then she waits until I say, “What?” before continuing.

Guys, we were talking…to each other! She doesn’t need to ‘get my attention’ because she already had it. She doesn’t need to make sure I’m still listening because we were conversing. That’s how conversations work, for the love of Meatloaf!

Ahem.

And that’s a little bit of life with 13 year old Liv.

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