So Different

I have two younger brothers. J is four years younger than I am and M is thirteen years younger.

Let me state right here that they’re both rednecks. I can say that because they’d both declare it loud and proud.

It makes me sad, to be honest. Not the redneckness of it, but how proud they are of it. I almost feel like being proud of their status as rednecks kind of makes it worse than if they were ignorant of their ignorance.

See what I’m saying?

No? Let me tell you a story.

Recently, J posted an opinion piece on FB. Ahh, yes, the book of faces. Sigh.

J opined that schools should show the movie Blazing Saddles as an example of how we can all make fun of ourselves and others. It’s hysterical, he’ll tell you, that the N word can be dropped by anyone and everyone and, get this, NO ONE is offended.

Of course he got all kinds of likes to this post and so many comments about how brilliant he is.

Yes.

I know.

My mom, bless her heart, finally commented, telling my brothers that as white men, they don’t get it. Not at all.

M, in a moment of redneck oblivion, posted, “It is so much cooler when races can be made fun of and make fun of themselves.”

Because it’s important to be cool, don’t you know? Why is everyone so sensitive these days? Don’t they realize that being sensitive isn’t cool?

Wait, I’m getting ahead of myself and letting my own feelings of disgust with this entire situation run wild.

I’m not usually one to comment on these sorts of things. I know that I’m not going to change anyone’s mind. But I couldn’t just let that sit there. I thought maybe, just maybe, someone out there was reading this shit being posted by MY BROTHERS and might be feeling like crap because my brothers were being asses.

So, I replied to M’s comment: “You know I adore you, right. But you need to check your white privilege. Those of us who haven’t been oppressed for thousands of years don’t get to make fun of those who have. We just don’t. Lecture over. I love you.”

And of course, he came back, stronger than ever, because that’s what rednecks do. He wrote, “If your great grandpa was oppressed and you were not then it seems like and odd grudge to have. I worked with a Mexican the other day. He made white jokes and the white people made wall/tunnel jokes etc. Everyone laughed. It isn’t my privilege to make jokes. Sounds like whites are the ones oppressed. They ain’t (sic) allowed to joke around. I love you too.”

So not being able to tell racist jokes makes him oppressed. OMG, seriously? This is not a difference of opinion at this point. It’s several lifetimes of ignorance coming together and it makes me sick.

I commented one more time because I couldn’t let it go. “I wish I could explain it better but all I can say is white people (I didn’t say WHITE MEN especially but I wanted to) are in no way oppressed. We just aren’t. Not being able to make racist jokes does not make us oppressed. But I don’t think I can convince you of that so I will stop here.”

Of course, because he’s a redneck who can’t help but dig in when he’s being told he’s a racist pig (but not in so many words because I’m not stupid) he had to reply. I won't retype his entire comment because it was long and ignorant and I just can't. Let me just say that he threw out professional athletes and Oprah Winfrey as people of color who are not oppressed. Again, I just can't anymore.

I let him have the last word. I said my piece. I got my thoughts out there for anyone who might be lurking and watching this unfold. I reacted to his comments with a sad face (rather than the ‘like’ thumbs up that he got from others.)

If we were face to face, I might have tried harder. I might have lectured him on how he’s coming across as an ass and I might still. But I’m letting the FB thing go because, like I said, I know that no matter what I said from that point he wasn’t listening. He wants so badly to be right, even though he’s so, so wrong.

It breaks my heart that people I love can make me dislike them so much.

This is Not a Political Blog...

Okay, I realize that this is NOT a political blog. But I think everyone who reads what I write here can probably guess where I stand on the current administration.

While my family and those close to me are very aware of my opinion of our current ‘leader’, the rest of the world, as in acquaintances and co-workers, probably aren’t. This is mostly because I am not a ‘shout it from the rooftops’ type.

But…I can barely stand the masks several co-workers are wearing these days. These masks have 45’s name and the numbers 2020 on them. Ugh!

I try and imagine if I were to wear a “Biden – 2020” mask to work. Wouldn’t that be fun?

But see, it’s not so much that I’m a Biden fan. I’m more of a “I will vote for anyone who is NOT our current president.”

Let’s all remember that any vote for Biden this November is a vote AGAINST 45. Can we all agree that a vote against the monster currently in the Whitehouse is a good thing? If we can’t agree to that, I supposed we can agree to disagree but in this case, I will be thinking that you are wrong.

I simply cannot imagine how anyone can listen to that moron speak and NOT realize that he’s insane. He’s horrible. He’s a misogynistic, racist, homophobic asshole.

And right now, he’s ‘leading’ our country.

It makes me sick to my stomach to think of it and yet there are people wearing masks over their faces with his name on them.

I just…can’t.

Home School

Over the holiday weekend, I found out that one of my cousins, a lovely young woman with two beautiful daughters, will be homeschooling her girls this fall. She’d already made the decision years ago not to send her older daughter to public school. S had gone to a private Catholic school since kindergarten. I believe she’d be going into fourth grade this coming fall.

E (the cousin) told her mom that she just wasn’t comfortable sending either one of her daughters back to school. Her younger daughter, A, will be five in December, so she’d have been home another year anyway. But she’s ready to learn. So E’s going to devote her days to educating her girls.

Good for her.

Seriously.

She’s already a stay-at-home mom so this won’t be a hardship on their family. It will be fine.

I also found out that my oldest step-son’s wife (does that make her my step-daughter-in-law?) will be homeschooling their three children as well.

Tom visited with J the week before holiday weekend and J told him they’d gone back to church a couple of times after the initial quarantine but the sight of everyone hugging and shaking hands made J choose not to go back and now they’ll be keeping their kids out of school too.

Again, good for them. I hope it works for them and they get a lot out of it.

After Tom told me all this, I gave it a moment of thought and declared, “All I know for sure is that homeschool is NOT a good option for our family.”

He laughed and agreed. Then he said, “Honestly, I don’t think it’s a good idea for a lot of kids who are going to be homeschooled in the near future.”

I didn’t touch that one. I may be married to the ringmaster, but that is NOT my circus and so I don’t get to judge the monkeys.

What I do know is that my little weirdos would have been even weirder if I hadn’t sent them school where they’ve been socialized into semi-functioning human beings over the past decade or so.

Okay, so the big one has come a long way. I mean, she works with the public, she is in a long-standing relationship, she has lots of friends, she performs in musicals and takes solos, both vocal and flute, to contest each year. She runs track and is the section lead of the woodwinds in her high school band. She tries out for soloes in her choir. She takes voice lessons to which she drives herself, pays the lady herself and practices without nagging.

But let me tell you, she would not be this outgoing and vivacious if she’d been stuck me day in and day out during her more formative years. No. She’d still be stuck to my side, letting me speak for her (and yes, that is one of my biggest flaws, I answer for my kids rather than let the silence get awkward.)

Honestly, she still gets squirmy if you suggest she go through a drive thru as the actual driver and have to speak, OUT LOUD, into the intercom and order something. She doesn’t like to order her own food when out and about. She wouldn’t call Walmart and ask if they have a specific phone in stock when her phone was dying. So, yes, she’s still weird (adorably weird but still) and while I love every weird cell in her body, I know school has been SO good for her.

And don’t even get me started on the little one. I mean, damn, can you even imagine that one without the last eight years of formal schooling? Yikes. And honestly, I can see regression setting in now that she’s been out of school for sixteen (16!) weeks. I feel for her new teacher this fall. Not only will she be getting to know Olivia for the first time, she’ll be getting to know an Olivia who has been out of school for almost 22 weeks. I better get that woman a few gift cards just to mellow out the start of the year.

All this to say, yeah. Good for all you homeschooling moms. I’ll be over here investing in masks and hand sanitizer and sending my darlings back into the cesspool that is the public school system.

In our case, the fear of germs is trumped by the benefits of socialization. I realize not everyone has the same priorities and that doesn’t make any of us are wrong (except 45, the creepy-ass dude whose name is the present tense of one the verb in the first sentence in this paragraph. Yes, he’s wrong ALL THE TIME. No matter the subject, he is wrong.)

Waking Up

Tom loves Court TV, a new addition to the plethora of channels that he gets through his antenna.

He watched the trial of the man being tried for the murder of his wife (she apparently strangled, or was strangled, while drunk one evening while he sat in his car, also drunk/high.) He very much enjoyed the trail of the dude in Florida who kidnapped and killed the nanny.

He just finished up watching the trial of the caretaker in a retirement home who was being tried for the murder/neglect of a 91 year old man.

In the caretaker case, the defendant is a young(ish) black man. I only mention race because Tom thinks this guy is innocent and that he’s only on trial because of his race.

Let that sink in.

The man who used the word ‘colored’ when we met over seventeen years ago is waking up. This old white dude is starting to see how unfair the world is to everyone except those exactly like him.

I can’t even find the words to explain how amazing this is.

I’ve been in a shitty mood since the last presidential election. I know, that’s a long time to be angry but unless you’re another old white dude, you get what I’m saying.

I can’t be in the same room if Tom has 45 on the television because just the sound of his voice, let along the horrible things he actually says makes me want to scream.

So to have my husband, a man I tell daily that he’s an old white dude so please don’t think I’m talking behind his back, to finally SEE the world for what it really is, is just so gratifying.

It doesn’t fix anything that’s going on in the world, but it soothes my soul when I’m in my own home.

I just had to put that out there.

He’s waking up and it’s glorious! If this old white dude can wake up at 59 years old, there’s hope for other old white dudes to wake up and stop eating the bullshit that 45 is feeding them.

And please, I know that it’s not only old white dudes who support that idiot. I know that. Hell, I have several (many?) FB ‘friends’ who are 45 supporters and some of them are women, so even having a uterus doesn’t stop people from being stupid or blind.

It’s sad.

But wait, back to the happy news. There’s an old white dude in northwestern Ohio who is waking up!! There’s hope for our world.

Maybe It's the Weather

This funk isn’t abating. I’m so tired these days. I’m tired and cranky and headachy and grouchy and snarky and it’s not pretty or fun.

My husband watches the news morning and evening and I can’t stand it when our new president is on the screen. My skin literally crawls and I need to leave the room.

My husband thinks I’m overreacting so I don’t talk about it much anymore. But it festers.

I live in a very small, very rural, VERY conservative area of the country and I’m surrounded by white working class individuals who do not understand my angst…at all. They don’t want to hear even a little bit about how loathsome I find this man.

And because I live in the freaking Midwest, there hasn’t been any sunshine for weeks. It has rained here almost every single day for almost a month.

So yeah, maybe this funk is weather-related. Then again, maybe the weather feels the same way I do and just want to hibernate for the next four years.

What To Watch

Since there is not going to be anything worth watching on television tonight, I’m trying to decide which DVD we should put in.

Right now I’m going back and forth between Anne of Green Gables and season two of Fear the Walking Dead. You can understand my indecisiveness.

I might just let the girls pick. But before I do that, I have to reconcile myself with the fact that we’ll probably end up watching The Secret Lives of Pets.

I think I might just be okay with that.