I hate to admit it but my own inner self-esteem is sometimes not enough to get me through every single day.
I need outside encouragement. I need to hear voices other than my own inner voices telling me that I’m good enough, I’m strong enough, I’m smart enough and dog gone it, people like me.
I need to hear those around me (ahem, my husband) say that I’m doing a good job. Not a ‘good enough’ job, but an actual good job. I need to hear he thinks I’m doing my best and that it’s enough.
I need to know that those around me appreciate the effort I put in to caring for them, for our home, for myself. I need to know that it is appreciated that I go to work every day (m-f) and that I do as much as I am able on the weekends to maintain an orderly household.
I need someone (Tom) to acknowledge that I am a good mother, that I keep a nice home, that I make decent (not gourmet, my kids wouldn’t eat it anyway) food every. single. day.
This past weekend was a little tough on my feelings. But…go me…I actually voiced my issues, my feelings, my frustration with the lack of appreciation for what I do.
See, I try so hard to be positive and encouraging to my husband. I talk to him the way I wish he’d talk to me. When he has an idea, I listen, I tell him it sounds great or, if nothing else, I tell him to go for it, I’m sure it will be fine. I rarely give ‘advice’ for how his idea could be made better. I rarely give a critique of how whatever his idea is won’t work.
And yet…sometimes it feels like the advice and critiques are all I hear. It’s ever so frustrating.
I also thank Tom for all that he does. I don’t just thank him every so often, I try to thank him each and every time he does something because it’s what I’d like to hear. I know, I probably go overboard and so maybe the impact of my appreciation is lessened by saturation. But I wish so much that he’d give me even a little of the encouragement I give him.
By the end of the weekend everything was fine again. I was even able to tell him that my feelings were suddenly less sensitive than they’d been all weekend and the defcon level could be lowered substantially. I think I heard him heave a sigh of relief.