Monday, April 27, 2015

Outside Encouragement

I hate to admit it but my own inner self-esteem is sometimes not enough to get me through every single day.

I need outside encouragement. I need to hear voices other than my own inner voices telling me that I’m good enough, I’m strong enough, I’m smart enough and dog gone it, people like me.

I need to hear those around me (ahem, my husband) say that I’m doing a good job. Not a ‘good enough’ job, but an actual good job. I need to hear he thinks I’m doing my best and that it’s enough.

I need to know that those around me appreciate the effort I put in to caring for them, for our home, for myself. I need to know that it is appreciated that I go to work every day (m-f) and that I do as much as I am able on the weekends to maintain an orderly household.

I need someone (Tom) to acknowledge that I am a good mother, that I keep a nice home, that I make decent (not gourmet, my kids wouldn’t eat it anyway) food every. single. day.

This past weekend was a little tough on my feelings. But…go me…I actually voiced my issues, my feelings, my frustration with the lack of appreciation for what I do.

See, I try so hard to be positive and encouraging to my husband. I talk to him the way I wish he’d talk to me. When he has an idea, I listen, I tell him it sounds great or, if nothing else, I tell him to go for it, I’m sure it will be fine. I rarely give ‘advice’ for how his idea could be made better. I rarely give a critique of how whatever his idea is won’t work.

And yet…sometimes it feels like the advice and critiques are all I hear. It’s ever so frustrating.

I also thank Tom for all that he does. I don’t just thank him every so often, I try to thank him each and every time he does something because it’s what I’d like to hear. I know, I probably go overboard and so maybe the impact of my appreciation is lessened by saturation. But I wish so much that he’d give me even a little of the encouragement I give him.

By the end of the weekend everything was fine again. I was even able to tell him that my feelings were suddenly less sensitive than they’d been all weekend and the defcon level could be lowered substantially. I think I heard him heave a sigh of relief.


Julie said...


For the record, I had to pick out the sushi again.

Anonymous said...

I love the idea Shiela Walsh presented to a whole areana of ladies in Sacramento for days when we doubt our worth.....: Stand in front of the mirror, place your left hand on your left cheek, your right hand on your right cheek, look straight into that mirror viewing that hand-held face and repeat, "Good morning, Child of God, He loves you so very much...and He has you right where He wants you to be today! Know you are loved and worth it all!" When your outside world does not come through with enough this, and sense God's love for you. If God be with you, who could possible be against you? And I want you to know I totally love reading your blog...I laugh with you and encourage you daily....I just don't take the time to write. :)