School started last Thursday. Fifth grade and sophomore year. Two days in and well, I've had a few stressful thoughts as I try to fall asleep at night. On Friday Olivia mentioned that she sits alone at lunch. Sigh. I suppose as the kids get older, the more they gravitate toward the norm and my sweet Liv is not the norm.
I fretted over it. I prayed over it. And I asked her how she feels about it. I wanted to get her thoughts and feelings before I talk to her teacher and/or aide about it. She shrugged and said she doesn't care. She said on the first day of school a bunch of kids sat at her table. She said she doesn't want me to talk to her teacher about it. She just wants to see how it goes and if she sits alone, she says she doesn't care. I have to trust her. I have to let her navigate this as she wants. I hope she'll continue to talk to me and let me know if it does start to bother her.
I start a new job tomorrow. Perfect timing, right? This new job will start one day before the anniversary of my breast cancer diagnosis. How's that for coincidence? I started my last job on August 21. I got my diagnosis 17 years to the day after I started my last job. So I start this new job on the 20th. I like that it's not exactly on the same day. It let's me celebrate one day and ruminate on the other day. There should be a post that day about finding my new normal.
My new job is a little less responsibility than my last job and honestly, I'm relieved. I'm ready to work again but I'm also ready to let others be in charge more than I will be. I like being a helper and that's what this job will be. I'll kind of be the administrative assistant to several people. I can handle that.
I can also handle having an income again.
It will be good for me to have somewhere to go each day. I mean, I don't think I could handle spending the rest of my life sleeping until 11am each day. But it was fun for the past eight months or so. Wait, I didn't actually do that. I just did it sometimes.
I need to start moving again. I need to have a normal sleep pattern. I need to feel productive. I could only mop my kitchen floor so many times a week, you know? And while my family generates a lot of laundry, I still don't have enough to keep me busy every single day.
No, this new job is a wonderful thing. It came along at the perfect time and it feels good to be found worthy of hiring.
Here's to new beginnings for both me and my sweet girls.
A mom, a dad and two daughters. We're living ordinary lives with a twist of 5p- (Cri du Chat) for spice. But we're about so much more than our younger daughter's genetic diagnosis.
1 comment:
I am so happy for you. Oddly enough, I started my job 22 years to the day from my old. And I also have much less responsibility. I like it. I hope it's everything you need right now.
On to the lunch issue...it makes my stomach hurt to think of her sitting by herself. I think that's something that the teacher should recognize and find a way to fix. Riley went through that because there were 9 girls in her class and 8 seats at a table. It still makes me angry. I hope it works out peacefully.
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