Wednesday, September 23, 2020

I'm Sorry

There are a few words/phrases that Olivia simply cannot say.

A couple of years ago, we had a stand-off over her inability to tell me she was sorry for something.

These days, she is quick with “I didn’t mean to.” She says this in lieu of saying, “I’m sorry.”

She will tell Travis the turtle she loves him but she can’t say it to anyone else.

Don’t worry, I know she loves me. I don’t have to hear the words directly from her mouth.

She had a really hard time with Thank you for a while but seems to have gotten past that one.

But the other night, while we were in the car at the sketchy farm looking at the crap-mobile the two creepy dudes were trying to sell to Tom, Olivia did something that caused me physical pain and before I could even react, she said, “I sorry.”

That’s not a typo. She didn’t say “I’m.” She said “I sorry.”

It was said in a slightly baby tone but you know what? I don’t care.

She looked at me in shock after she said it. I stared at her. We were both stunned that those words had come out of her mouth. She smiled and I told her I was so proud of her for being able to say it.

It’s not that she doesn’t want to say some of these things. It’s just that there is some kind of mental block that stops her from uttering those phrases.

But the fact that she said that to me without prompting (sometimes, I think the prompting is what puts up the block) means that she’s continuing to grow, to learn, to mature.

I didn’t think she’d reached her peak but seeing actual progress is so heartening. It makes the struggles that much more worth it.

My girl is trying. She’s growing. She wants so badly to do right by us all and all we want is for her to do right by herself. Every day is a step forward…even if it’s a small step.

1 comment:

Julie said...

I love it!!! It also means you never take those words for granted. It will be an amazing day when she says the big three words to you.

I LOVE YOU!!