Thursday, December 16, 2010

Just One More?

Last night, Alyssa declared that she wishes she had two little sisters. Or perhaps a little sister and a little brother. Or maybe two little brothers.

At that point, I reminded her that two little brothers aren't going to happen since, well, see the already existing little sister.

She laughed and said, "Okay, a little sister and either another little sister or a little brother."

Yeah, kid, it's that easy.

And honestly? If I'd started having kids a little younger or if I were a stay at home mom with unlimited funds? Sure...I'd totally be all up for a third child.

Except there's that pesky fact that I turned 40 last month.

And Tom turned 50 back in July.

And we already have a child with a chromosomal disorder. Yes, I wouldn't wish her out of existence for anything in the world but we got so lucky with Livie. She's incredible and one of a kind.

I reminded Alyssa of O's first few months, during which Olivia cried and cried and took a breath and cried some more.

Do we really want to risk going through that again?

But it's so hard to close that door. Even at 40 years old, I wish. I wish so much that circumstances were different and we could go for it. I wish we could fill our house with fat, happy, healthy children who laugh and play and make me crazy with their needs and wants and silliness.

I wish so much that I could give Alyssa that extra little sister (she's probably be Camilla) or that little brother (Sebastian?) that she longs for.

Except...I think she'd probably be just as happy with a puppy.

1 comment:

Kelly said...

Thanks for stopping by Bostons blog :)You pajama post made me laugh as I JUST returned from buying Brooklyn a new pair to wear to her kindergarten movie/pj party at school tomorrow. :)