Inclusion

A few weeks ago, Julie and I were talking about gymnastics and ballet classes and I mentioned that I’d love to find a class for Olivia but that I think we need to wait at least another year before enrolling her.

Julie gently suggested I look for a special needs class for Olivia.

I was not offended by this suggestion, I just pointed out that we live in a VERY small town, with several other very smaller towns about 40 miles in every direction. Between those small towns? Cornfields. Really.

Anyway, it made me think about inclusion and what that means.

I am all for inclusion in school, in extracurricular activities, etc. as long as inclusion doesn’t make the other kids in the class, special needs or not, lose any quality to their own experience of the class.

When Olivia took gymnastics back when she was three and four, I started her out in a Mommy & Me class. It was fine. She loved it. The other kids in the class also had their mommies there with them and everyone was happy.

But the timing got weird and we had to switch to a Kindergym class and this one didn’t include the mommies. At least, it didn’t include the other mommies. Olivia’s mommy? She stayed and helped out in the class.

The reason I stayed and worked with Olivia was because I felt her needs would eclipse those of the rest of the students. Her coach/teacher would have to spend so much extra time with Olivia that the other children would lose out.

I don’t worry about Olivia acting out at school these days. I worry about her withdrawing to the point that she’s not getting anything out of it. But she’s not likely to disrupt the entire class when she does this in the way that a child who throws a tantrum would do so.

This goes for classes like gymnastics, ballet and even school. This year at school, there are only nine kids in O’s class. There is a teacher and a teacher’s assistant. I feel like that is perfect for O’s needs this year.

But as she grows and moves from class to class, we will have to evaluate what her placement should be. I want her around her typical peers because I know she tends to learn more/better from them. Peer pressure and all that.

If at any point, though, it seems Olivia is distracting her classmates or taking more than her fair share of the teacher’s time and attention, we’ll reconsider her placement in a typical classroom.

I know all kids act out, whether they have special needs or not. Some kids are just brats. Or wait, some kids have bratty days where they act out more than they do on other, less bratty days.

And like all kids, Olivia has her moments. These are not the moments I worry about. I think about day in and day out attention needed for her to grasp the things her typical peers don’t have to work at. If those things start to require more of her teacher’s time, don’t I owe it to the typical kids in her class to reevaluate her placement?

I think what I’m trying to say is that the special needs of some don’t trump the typical needs of others.

I have two children. One has special needs. The other has typical needs. I think they both have a right to an education that will take them to their fullest potential as well as a right to extracurricular activities that bring them joy.

But those rights are no greater than any other person’s rights to those same things. And if either of my children started to act out in school or activities to the detriment of their classmates, something needs to be done to fix that issue, even if it means pulling them out of the activity or finding a new way to educate them.

My job as their parent is teach them that yes, they’re needs are important but not necessarily more important than the needs of others.