I feel like I’ve settled into a sort of monotony that is overwhelming me.
Every single day feels exactly like the day before. I get up, go to work, come home, do the home work and go to bed. Repeat ad nauseum.
There is so much I need to do around the house but it doesn’t get done because I’m either tired or the girls need attention or I just don’t want to do anything that is on the to-do list.
The to-do list is so overwhelming that I just don’t even think about it most of the time. Which is obviously part of the problem. The longer I don’t do anything, the longer the list gets and it’s all a vicious cycle.
I need something. Something to motivate me to break out of this monotony, this feeling of suffocating every single day.
See, part of my problem is that I know I have nothing to complain about. My kids are awesome. They make every single day worth waking up. The stories they tell me, the love I feel for them when I glance across the room or down into my lap if one of them is laying on me is so enormous. I am filled with gratitude that they’re mine, that I get to be their mother.
It’s not them. It’s me. I’m at this weird place where I don’t know what to do next. Where am I going? What am I doing? How am I changing even my own little corner of the world? How can I make every single day feel a little less ordinary, a little more exciting, a little more productive?
I’ll figure it out. I always do. I just…I guess I just need to keep breathing until the answer comes.