Sunday, September 16, 2018

Teenage Love

Remember when you first met your significant other? How new and wonder that person was? Remember how you wanted to spend every waking moment with them? How you counted down the hours and minutes until you could be with them again?

Yeah, me neither.

But we’re in the throes of that right now with teenage love.

Bless their hearts but I’m so over it.

I’m over her asking to go somewhere every single day, or to have someone (you know about whom I am speaking) over to our house.

This week has been rough for all of us.

But FAIR WEEK is the constant excuse for the constant asking if she can go out and stay out later than we usually allow on school nights.

There haven’t been any tears but that’s probably because Tom and I are pushovers and we’ve given in on just about everything. So yeah, this frustration is probably our fault but that doesn’t make it much easier to swallow.

After her being late two nights in a row, she still asked to go to an event on Wednesday. Fine, whatever, but DON’T BE LATE. I even told her that if she thought she was going to be late, she needed to call me and I would come get her to avoid the stress of her being late.

She was right on time. As in, she was supposed to be home at 9:30 and she walked in the door as exactly 9:30. Sigh.

Tom and I agreed to the event on Wednesday with the stipulation that she wasn’t doing anything, going anywhere, etc. on Thursday.

Thursday morning dawned. She rolled out of bed at 6:45, arrived down for breakfast at 7:00. At 7:10, as she was heading back upstairs she asked all casual-like, “I know you told me that if I went last night I couldn’t go anywhere tonight but N has to be at the fairgrounds at 6:00 so can I hang out with her until 5:45?”

I didn’t say anything. I was not this kind of teenager, who asked and asked and asked for more. I didn’t push mom.

Let me insert here that she’s a good kid. She’s mostly kind and sort of helpful. She might vacuum once a week, if I ask her to do so. She’ll do the dishes when we tell her. She isn’t mean to her sister. She gets good grades but those come easily for her and so I can’t say she works hard for them. She’s talented, she’s smart, she’s mostly sweet. But she’s also a teenager and teens are very self-centered. I won’t say she’s selfish, but she definitely wants what she wants when she wants it.

Tom finally replied to her question. He had something going that afternoon that meant he needed Lyss at home to help with Liv if he had to leave. We rarely leave the girls home alone but as she often points out, Alyssa is fifteen years old. She’s perfectly capable of being home alone with her eleven year old sister for a couple of hours if necessary.

She took the news well that we needed her to be at home. In fact, she rolled with it and immediately suggested, “Then can N come over here until 5:45?”

She’s a sly one, that girl. I mean, why not ask? If she doesn’t ask, we definitely won’t offer the option and that’s as good at not seeing her girlfriend for a whole twelve hours until the next school day. Heaven forbid!

We gave in, AGAIN, and told her it was fine. I mean, what does it harm?

I did tell Olivia that she is babysitting her sister as much as her sister is babysitting her. I told her to be as annoying as she could and that if A and N went upstairs, she (O) should definitely follow them and not give them a moment of peace. I mean, she’s the little sister, that’s kind of her job, right?

Okay, so maybe it wasn’t nice of me to give Liv those instructions but this past week I’m finding parenting a teenager to be a lot of work and I’m tired. I’m so very tired. I’m tired of watching for headlights each night, I’m tired of staying up later than I want because she’s not home when she’s supposed to be home. I’m tired of watching the clock. I’m tired of having to even think about whether she can go somewhere and when she should be home versus when she WILL be home. Like I said, I’m tired.

Are these the years that make us glad when they graduate and move out? Do they get like this so we will push them out of the nest rather than hold tightly to them and crush their independent spirits?

I don’t know but I think maybe. Maybe.

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