Schooled

Gotta go back, back, back to school again...Ahem, sorry for the little Grease 2 flashback.

We’ve been talking about school for months now, right?

The girls’ last day of school was Friday, March 13. Sure, sure, they did online school until the end of May but please. That hardly counts.

It’s as if they’re currently on week 20 of spring break.

I’ve been waiting for the school to get their ‘reopening plan’ together and posted.

It’s happened. They posted it on July 30th.

The gist is the school will do their best to clean, clean, clean common surfaces. Kids will be encouraged to social distance as much as possible. Masks will be encouraged throughout the day, obviously during lunch masks will be impossible but the school will attempt to keep kids in the same groups at all times.

So…we’ll see.

About five days after the school dropped their reopening plan, Tom asked, “So, when does the online schooling start back up for the girls?”

*aside: He asked me this at 6:48am on a Tuesday (fucking Tuesdays). I’d just put my phone in my purse and was getting ready to walk out the door.*

I paused, put my purse down and went to the kitchen table where I’d laid the letter we’d received the day before addressed to “The Parents of Olivia Ordinary”. It was informing us of a parent/student meeting on August 17 for students transitioning into seventh grade. Alongside this letter were copies of both girls’ immunizations from our family doctor’s office. I am taking those to the school to have the nurse confirm that both girls are up to date on their vaccinations.

Look at me, all on top of shit these days.

I also mentioned the text we’d received the day before informing us of the day and time we were to drop off O’s Chromebook.

At this point, it occurred to him that there was, apparently, not going to be online school this year, that the girls are going to be IN school.

He mused, “Yeah, Olivia probably would do better if she were in school.”

You think?

I blinked at him. Where has he been these last twenty weeks?

I mean, seriously?

Was he not there during the tearful days that I was at home trying to keep her on task, both of us at our wit’s end, slowly losing our minds?

Can he not see the state of her cuticles, as she picks them bloody from the anxiety she’s feeling these days?

She needs the routine of school. She needs to be around her peers, even if through masks. She needs the patience of those teachers who know her, who care about her, who are trained to help her. She needs to be away from the news and the murder and the crime shows that are constantly blaring from the television in our family room day in and day out.

Yeah, she’s going to school. I hope and pray it’s the best decision. Obviously, remaining home and waiting out this virus would be best for all but…that just doesn’t feel possible right now, not for any of us. And it’s a shame that we’re having to choose between our physical health and our mental health.

Sigh…it feels very much like we’re damned if we do and damned if we don’t.

Lulled (alternate title: False Complacency)

I feel like we’re in the quiet before the storm.

Things are calm right now. We’re muddling through the summer and doing our best.

I still get frustrated with Olivia on a daily basis. I fuss at her over the water all of the bathroom floor (she washes her hands and then shakes them all over the floor. It drives me insane.) as well as her over-use of toilet paper. One day a few weeks ago, she went to get Alyssa to help her unplug an upstairs toilet. O had basically put an entire roll (sans the actual cardboard roll) in the toilet and then tried to flush. Sigh.

But really, those are just annoyances. Her moods have settled. *Knock on wood*

Alyssa’s in band camp, so we’re watching each other closely since we’re all around people more and more these days.

Alyssa and I attended her prom. She was beautiful. It was fine. I worked with other mothers (there were some dads in attendance but they didn’t really work so much as they stood around watching the moms work…seriously.) We served the kids their dinners, we made sure their drinks were full. We wore masks most of the time but there were times when we didn’t. So…

I’ve filled out the survey put out by the school asking what type of school we’re looking for this coming year.

Alyssa insists she is going to school. She does NOT want to do online learning. I don’t blame her. It’s her senior year.

Olivia needs to be back in school. But I also need to manage her and Tom’s anxiety over her being in school.

The survey asked if we wanted in-school learning, online learning or a blended version. I checked blended. Alyssa balked at that. She said that there was not blended option.

But wait, there was! I told her that the survey wasn’t locking us into anything. I reminded her that everything is negotiable. We’ll figure it out. If Lyss goes to school five days a week and Liv goes three that would be perfect.

Olivia will not be riding the bus this year. Since Lyss drives, Olivia can ride with her. There is no need to put her on the cesspool that is the school bus. That’s on less area of anxiety we’ll have to manage.

Olivia is perfectly willing to wear a mask to school each day. She’d love it if they could just eat lunch in their classrooms. She said she’ll actually eat if that’s an option. She’s even said she’ll speak louder from behind her mask so everyone can hear and understand her.

Her classroom is already small. I think there are a total of nine kids in the class where she receives individual instruction. It should be fairly easy for those nine kids to social distance.

I don’t know. I want what’s best for all of us. Just like every other parent out there facing these decisions.

Obviously my girls’ physical health is important but their mental health is important too. Their social health, while not quite as important as their physical and mental health, is still something we need to take into account. They need more than just to be wrapped in protective layers and kept at home. I wish we could do just that but it’s not healthy for any of us, not in the long run.

Prom (or Not?)

Yes, I Did Skip a “Junior Class Parent” Meeting and I Feel Zero Guilt Over Doing So

I attended at least eight parent meetings over the span of the school year that were geared toward raising money for the junior/senior prom and then planning said prom.

It was miserable. We sold pies, we organized a ‘Family Fun Night’, which included a dinner (I was on the food committee with my kind of moms), kiddie games, a silent auction and a concession stand. We sold more pies, we held 50/50 raffles at every single stupid football and basketball games.

Then we met to talk about how we’d spend the money we’d raised.

Then school closed for the year on March 13 and…everything stalled.

We still got emails from the teacher who was in charge of the prom (she works with the juniors and their parents each year doing this. That poor, poor woman.)

We also got FB updates.

So, prom is now happening on July 18. But there will be no dancing; also no dates. Only students who were juniors or seniors during the 2019-2020 school year are invited. It’s happening at a hotel nearby and there will be dinner and prizes. Formal dress is encouraged but not required.

Yeah, Alyssa thinks is sounds awesome too.

On the Wednesday before the Fourth of July, I got a FB message from Mrs. R, the teacher mentioned above. She attached the agenda for the parent meeting that was being held the very next day, July 2.

The agenda was roughly this:

1. Discuss T-shirt – someone needs to organize this.

2. Discuss prizes – someone needs to organize this.

3. Chaperones – we need as many as possible.

I replied to her message and said, “So sorry, can’t make the meeting. But I can totally be a chaperone if you need me.”

She responded almost immediately with, “We’ll definitely need you, I’ll put you on the list.”

And that’s that.

I was NOT going to be in charge of T-shirts.

I was NOT going to be in charge of prizes.

And you know what? I knew that if I attended that stupid meeting, I would somehow end up in charge of one of those things, either by myself or as a co-organizer.

No thank you.

And guess what?

I feel no guilt whatsoever about any of this. Nope, not even a little. I’ve done more than my share in this whole Junior parent thing. I mean, damn, there were maybe five of us who showed up to every meeting. Two dads were among the regulars. But you know what? There are over 30 kids in this class. That means that 1/6 of us carried the load for the rest.

So I’m done.

I will chaperone because I want to be there.

But I am not organizing another thing for this ‘prom.’

I hope it’s great for the kids but at this point, it feels like a farce anyway so let’s just get through it, get it over with and move on.

Updated: So I casually mentioned to Tom that Alyssa and my mom are going to the mall (in FORT WAYNE) to get Alyssa a dress for this prom. I think he came close to going into shock. He got very busy researching the guidelines for gatherings during this 'unprecedented time'.

He's VERY against either me or Alyssa attending this prom. He thinks it's dangerous and stupid of the school to even consider a gathering like this when they're not even sure how they're going to do school this fall.

I get it. I do. I get his angst and his worry and his fear. But I also am so tired of not living.

I mean, damn it, Alyssa and I both go to work every single week. We deal with people every single day. I go to the grocery store.

If we do these things, why are we so worried about something that actually be fun?

I know Tom's answer. He'll say that work is 'necessary' as are groceries. But gathering with 50+ people in a ballroom at a local hotel for dinner and prizes is NOT.

Yes. True. But maybe...it is necessary? For our mental health, for our well-being?

I will be wearing a mask that night. Alyssa will too. Will others? Maybe not but I can socially distance with the best of them.

Something's got to give, is what I'm saying.

The Children

These are trying times, no?

Yes. Yes, they are trying.

The governor of Ohio closed schools for the first time on March 12. The last day the girls were in school was Friday, March 13. They came home with Chromebooks.

That first ‘closing’ was supposed to be for three weeks. The tentative restart date was April 6.

Unless you live under a rock (can I move in with you?) you probably know that that date has been pushed back to May 1 and there are murmurs about it school not resuming at all for the rest of this school year.

We’re all under a ‘shelter in place’ warning. Of course, that doesn’t mean a thing to me, I go to work every single damn day anyway.

And guess what? I’m not a doctor or a nurse. I’m NOT important and yet here I am.

But my family is at home and that television is on all the time. And it’s all news, or rather, it’s nothing new. It’s all about death and destruction and illness and scary shit and Olivia is losing her mind.

I recently got home on a Tuesday and she was drawing at the kitchen table. Which is nice. She was wearing a purple one-shouldered dress. She looked lovely and yet…she’s haunted right now.

By 6:30, she’d worked herself into quite a lather.

She wanted to write her Gram a letter but didn’t know what to write. She is bored and tired and stressed and at 13, she doesn’t know how to handle her emotions.

I fed her some dinner. She cried.

I ran her a bath. She cried.

I washed her hair. She cried.

We called her Gram. She cried.

I gave her some hot tea and a cookie. She felt a little better.

She’s scared. She’s young and fragile and scared. She doesn’t want to die. She doesn’t want her mom or her dad or her sister or her Gram to die.

I hugged her and told her we’re doing all we can so that none of us will die.

I finally asked her if she’d like to me to take a couple of days off work to spend with her.

That brightened her up.

We made plans for those days. We planned to go outside and draw on the driveway with chalk, go to the school and pick up pies that had been ordered months ago for the prom that will probably not happen (have I mentioned how glad I am that I didn’t buy a prom dress yet?) After we pick up the pies, we planned to take the ones my mom ordered to her, maintaining our distance, of course.

The, the next day, our big plan was to go through the McD’s drive-through in Montpelier. Mama needs her coke and Olivia needs to get out of the house, away from the house, even if for a little while.

Tough times, indeed.

What's Getting Low? A Look Inside the Mind During the Covid-19 Pandemic/Quarantine

Other than morale, what’s getting low in your house?

I might need to buy tooth paste next time I go to the store. The four of us all use a different tooth paste, which I admit is stupid and yet…none of us is willing to switch to one of the others’ choice so…four tubes of tooth paste it is.

And I’m the one getting low on my Sensodyne.

What else?

Hair color! Yikes, my roots are starting to show and NO ONE wants to see that.

We’re going to need milk this week.

And probably snack cakes.

Let me check the status of the Cheez-Its.

Tom probably needs pretzel rods.

I should start a list.

Wait, I do that already. We have a running list on the microwave. I’ve got things that I get every week because they’re staples. Those things are typed on a list and there’s space at the bottom to add unique things.

I should probably get some more feminine hygiene products…those are something a house with two teenage girls does NOT want to run out of.

Should I get some ground turkey? What will I make with it if I do? Tom has a bunch of frozen chicken breasts that he can make so…

This is all so unprecedented. No one knows how long it’s going to last. Will the kids go back to school at all for this school year?

Who knows?