Aunt Mommie

It's been exactly two weeks since we closed on our new house. The girls and I spent the nigth there for the first time exactly a week ago. Tom has spent two nights there, himself.

So with the new house comes a new routine.

I can no longer get out of my bed in the bedroom I shared with the girls at my mom's house at 6:20, shower, pack Alyssa's lunch, wake Alyssa at 6:45, get her dressed, feed her breakfast and head out the door at 7:30 to drop her off at the school that was a mere six minutes from my place of employment.

But I also no longer have to get up at 4:30 on Tuesday mornings, load up the car, wake up the girls at 5:15, bundle them into the car, drive an hour and twenty minutes, have 25 minutes to unload the car, feed Alyssa some lunch and head out for school/work.

Now it's much more consistent. I get up at 5:15, shower, packed A's lunch, get her up at 6:00 (because she wants to watch Martha on PBS) let her and Olivia run around for an hour, leave for my mom's at 7:00, so Alyssa can eat breakfast there because her Rice Krispies taste better than the ones at our house (true story!) and then, we leave at 7:25 so I can drive her to school, drop her off at the new school which is at 16 miles and 25 minutes away from my work.

It's actually a comfort to have the same routine every single day and not have to worry about getting enough sleep Monday night/Tuesday morning. Then I go to my mom's house in the evenings by 5:30, pick up the girls and we drive the three miles to our house.

This routine hasn't just made a difference for us, though. It's messed up Jaxon's world too.

My mom watches him twice a week for my brother. My dad goes to my brother's house and watches Jaxon the other three days. The two days that Jaxon stays with my mom, he spends the night the first day so Jason doesn't have to drive the 18 miles from his house to my mom's (my brother isn't exactly rolling in financial freedom.)

Jaxon's mother used to care for him whil Jason worked. She did this while she and Jason were a couple and after they'd broken up.

But...she's got a new boyfriend now, and he doesn't really like Jaxon. And he lives with his parents and now so does Jaxon's mother.

I'm trying really hard not to judge her. I don't know what is going on in her life.

But I do know that Jaxon is craving maternal love.

My mom and I do the best to slather him with it when he's in our care but it's not the same and we all know it.

Jaxon adores all things Livie.

He and Olivia can have the exact same food on the the exact same plates and he'll eat off hers rather than eat his own.

The same goes for drinks.

If she's got on sticker earrings, so does he. He wants to wear her underwear!

So...since I'm Livie's mommy, he's decided I'm just "Mommy." He only ever hears Olivia and Alyssa call me mommy. That combined with him hearing my mom and his dad call me Tommie has led him to think my name is Mommie.

And honestly, I'm okay with that. But...this little boy breaks my heart every single time I go to pick up the girls when he's there.

When I arrive, he's the first to greet me at the door with a huge grin and a shouted, "Mommy!!!"

He practically climbs up my leg to get me to hold him.

And when I tell the girls to get ready to go home, he wraps his arms around my neck and whispers, "Home?"

See...he's used to me and the girls being at my mom's when he's there. He's used to the four of us (my mom, me, A and O) being a unit.

And now that we leave, he wants to go to.

Just this week, I got there as he and his dad were getting ready to leave.

He didn't want to go with his dad. I was holding him (because he was doing the 'spider monkey' hold) and he kept turning my face to him and saying, "Home? Me home?"

Then he'd point to me and say, "Mine!"

I hugged him and told him I'd always be his Aunt Mommie. He just said, "Mommy!!"

I feel like he's being abandoned by a mother-figure all over again each time my brother leaves with him. I know it breaks Jason's heart that his son's mother isn't more a part of that boy's life.

I don't get it. He's so sweet, so lovable.

Again, I can't make any judgements. She's young (20) and...well, hasn't had the best role models in her life. But I'd hoped that would make her want to be different, not continue the cycle.

So I'll keep loving him, keep answering to Mommy whenever he calls and hope and pray that it's enough.