Hairy Situations

So Olivia's hair has grown out a lot since we buzzed it back in the beginning of May to 1/4 of an inch.

And in the past two weeks or so, she's realized just how long it is (she was pulling off quite the Mia Farrow circa Rosemary's Baby look, she pulled it off quite well, too) and she's been pulling, pulling, pulling. She's got quite the thin spot right above her left eyebrow.

I'm trying so hard to let it go. This is her thing. She'll have to get old enough to want to stop doing it and at that point, I'll do everything I can to ger her the help she needs.

But right now, me telling her not to pull at her hair isn't going any of us any good.

I've had to pray hard about letting go of this need to stop her. I've had to ask for the peace that comes with accepting something I can't change.

She's not quite four years old. She wants long hair but I don't think she understands that when she's pulling it out, long hair can't happen.

I had a well-meaning friend ask me once if I'd considered medicating Olivia for anxiety in an effort to get her to stop pulling her hair.

I'll be honest. Medication never crossed my mind. I don't think Olivia's hair-pulling is anxiety related. I could be wrong, though. But even if it is caused by anxiety, is hair worth putting drugs into her body at four years old? I don't think so.

I don't care what other parents do to/for their own kids but I'd like mine to stay drug-free for as long as they can. Sure, we do the occasional antibiotic when they're sick. We did try the bed-wetting medicine but upon seeing that the maximum dosage didn't work for A, we stopped it.

It's just hair. It keeps growing back. I hope and pray that at some point, Olivia will stop pulling it out. But until then? She's lucky she has elfin features that look really good with very short hair.

Speaking of hair, my hair was recently orange. Well, just in the back. See...I tend to screw around with the color...well, a lot.

My aunt Lorry once told me that I use my hair for instant gratification. When I can't stand certain things that are happening in my life that I can't control, I tend to change my hair in an effort to control something. Too bad I don't use that need for control to control my caloric intake...

Anyway, a few weeks ago, I attempted to remove any and all artificial color from my hair. Over the summer, I'd gone back and forth changing from medium blond to darker blond and back again.

And I needed to get rid of all the color so I could do something else. I wasn't sure what else I wanted to do, but I wanted something.

And the color-remover worked, sort of. Except, it left an orange streak down the back of my head.

I wore my hair in a ponytail for two weeks, even after having my hair cut by a decent stylist.

Finally, Lorry came to the rescue again and brought me two packages of what she calls "Sea Treatments." I don't know what it really is, but when mixed with water, it turns into a gel and upon being applied to hair, it gets rid of build up and rusty color. And it worked! Behold, I was blond again, without any obnoxious orange streaks.

And that lasted a week.

This weekend, I colored my hair again. This time, I used a color that was supposed to be a 'Natural Medium Brown.' The model on the box looked amazing.

I hate it. It's dull and ashy and just plain yuck! And yet...I feel like I need to give my hair a break and just let it be for a few weeks, just because. Sort of like punishing myself for my own impatience. I don't know. Maybe it will grow on me. But I doubt it. It needs something...