Last weekend, Olivia was perched on her cushy tushy which was perched on the toilet. She was trying to poop.
I know. TMI. But it’s relevant so deal, okay?
She was trying to poop and it was taking a long time. I checked in on her to see if she was done. She looked up from the latest copy of US Weekly and said sadly, “It hurts.”
I told her how sorry I was that it sometimes hurts her to poop. I wished there was some way I could make it less painful.
And that’s when it hit me.
Maybe there is a way. I mean, we all know there are medicines out there that soften poop and make it easier to have a bowel movement, a movement that doesn’t cause the pooper actual pain when passing feces into the toilet.
But I’ve been so against medication for so long.
I’ve always been absurdly proud of the fact that Olivia is not on any medicine at all.
Why? Where is the pride coming from? What am I accomplishing by keeping her off meds? What the hell? Why was I making her issues about me? Because you know I was.
I don’t think anything at all about other parents who medicate their children. Whether the medication is for ADHD, for constipation, for mood disorders, or hell, just to help their kid sleep better.
I don’t judge them. I figure we all do what we have to do to make like work for us. We all make the best decisions we can for our family.
So why was I so against giving Olivia something to make it easier for her to poop? Why was I making her poop about me? Because at the end of the day, it’s not about me. It’s about her and making her life better, easier. It’s about letting her sit on the damned toilet and not be in pain.
This afternoon we’re meeting with the doctor to discuss the lowest possible dose of Miralax. I’m over the whole ‘no medication’ thing but I also don’t want to give her too much and end up with runny poop that she can’t control. I want to make it easier on her but I don’t want to go to the other end of the spectrum.
If the doctor can suggest other remedies, I’m open to those too but I’m taking a moment and getting over myself when it comes to medication. I want to help Olivia, I want her life to be just a little easier. I want her to stop hurting when she has to poop.
I guess we’ll see.