After the girls were on the bus this morning Tom mentioned that things had felt rushed.
He then went on to say that he hates mornings like that because they seem to lead to me yelling at Olivia as I try to do her hair.
I replied, non-argumentatively, that I agree that it’s very unpleasant to be rushed and that while I’m standing over Olivia with a brush asking her to please stand still, he’s yelling at Alyssa to finishing eating and put on her shoes.
We both agreed that non-rushy mornings are better.
But see, I don’t think I yell so much as I stand there and repeat myself to Olivia to please stand still, please stop moving your head, please come back here, I’m not finished.
I realize, though, that what sounds like a reasonable tone of voice to me may sound like yelling to him.
He didn’t argue that he yells at Alyssa, so we agreed on that point.
I think he’s harder on Alyssa than necessary. I’ve told him this, aware from the all-hearing ears of the girls. I think he expects her to know things that we haven’t taught her yet and that he needs to be kinder, gentler when he’s giving instruction. I tell him that she’ll learn better when he used a nicer tone of voice, especially if it’s the first time he’s told her something.
I think he takes it all in but then gets overwhelmed by the rushiness of some of our mornings. He wants her to know what he expects of her without him having to tell her.
We’re all a work in progress, even twelve years into being together.
Of course, the whole morning rush thing could probably be avoided if no one turns on one of the Diary of a Wimpy kid movies during breakfast. Alyssa has proven many times in the past that she doesn’t early very quickly when she’s got something else on which to focus.
I do believe Tom will be instituting a ‘not television during breakfast’ rule starting next Monday. I’m behind him one hundred percent, I just hope he can enforce it with little to no yelling.
I’m sure he’ll try, just like I’ll try to do Olivia’s hair in the same manner.