Wednesday, April 30, 2014

The One Where Tom Drops a Few F-Bombs

Let me preface with the face that we don't really swear in our house much. Sure, I suffer from road rage induced potty mouth when I'm alone in the car but for the most part, Tom and I are not much for dropping obscenities into every day conversation.

With that said:

The light fixture in our dining area (it’s not a dining room, it’s just part of the kitchen that is set apart by the peninsula counter that separates the work area of the kitchen from the eating area) was one of the ugliest light fixtures I’ve ever come across.

It resembled a wagon wheel, big, bulky and the lights were directed toward the ceiling.

I hated it. I’ve hated it since we moved in to this house over three years ago.

I think I mentioned my ever-growing disgust with this light fixture to Tom a time or two.

Finally, last weekend, he told me to just go buy a new light fixture. He was tired of hearing me say how much I hated the old one. He also suggested I pick up a new faucet for the downstairs half bath because the current one is old and gross and it’s really hard for Olivia to turn on the water to wash her hands after she uses the bathroom.

I asked Tom if faucets come in sizes because, well, duh.

He said that bathroom faucets are pretty standard. (Foreshadowing…dun, dun, dun.)

So off we went.

I found a faucet that seemed like it would be easy to use. The handle for turning the water off and on was off to the side, which would made it a little easier for O to reach. It was clean and modern looking. I bought it and headed to the lights.

I found something that was completely different from the old wagon wheel hanging over our kitchen table.

This light is long with five lights that point toward the table. The sconces are amber colored, so kind of moody but nice too.

I loved it but also knew it was completely different from what Tom was expecting me to bring home. I bought it anyway.

I called him on the way home and told him I’d found something but it was completely different from what he was probably expecting.

When we got home, Alyssa proudly showed Tom the faucet we’d picked.

He immediately told me it wouldn’t work. I explained that there were none just like the old one.

He showed me how the one we’d bought was narrower at the base and so wouldn’t fit on our sink without holes showing. Huh. I guess faucets are actually standard, are they?

I said, “Okay, we’ll take it back next weekend.”

Then he saw the light.

The look on his face had me saying, “Since we’re taking the faucet back, I can return the light too.”

“I thought you were going to bring home something similar to what we had,” he explained.

“No, I hated that one, remember?” I replied. “But seriously, if this one won’t work, I’ll exchange it. No big deal.”

He sighed and said, “Let’s look at the instructions.”

I dug out the instructions while assuring him that it was fine if he hated it and wanted me to return it.

He told me, “I don’t hate it, I just don’t think it’s going to fit to the existing wires.”


After reading over the instructions, he decided he needed a better look at the actual light. He looked at the hole left by the old light, which he’d taken down while we were out shopping.

He muttered that it the light I’d bought would probably have to be put up at an angle.

Then we took the whole thing out and he started to work with it.

And hour and a half later, I was holding the fixture up while he stuffed cable and wire into the socket and the fixture itself and muttering unmentionable words here and there.

Then, finally, it was hung and ready for the breaker to be flipped to see if we liked it.

Once Alyssa flipped the switch, Tom said, “Well, it’s not very bright, is it?”

I replied, “I love it. I’m sorry you hate it.”

He said, “I don’t hate it. And it is actually better than the old one.”

The next morning, he told me, “Okay, I like it now.”

Even with the presence of a few obscenities muttered here and there, I’m calling it a victory, even though yes, I do still need to return that faucet and get a new one that will actually fit.

1 comment:

AiringMyDirtyLaundry said...


My husband and I work on not cursing so much when the kids are around.