What's that Sound?

Oh yes, it’s the sound of karma slapping me soundly.

While at Urgent Care last Saturday, Olivia and I had the joy of watching a two and a half year old boy run wild while his mother occasionally called out, “Kasen, stop it. Kasen, come here. Kasen, don’t turn that light off and on.”

She never once got up and picked that child up to carry him back to her chair.

And yes, I judged the hell out of her. I even told my mom about her, going on and on about how great Olivia was about sitting nicely next to me while we waited to see the doctor. Never mind that Olivia is seven years old and that child was two. She was an angel and he was the devil. I was an amazing mom and his mom was lazy and had a whiny voice that grated on everyone’s last nerve.

Which is where karma comes in to slap me down from my high horse.

The very next day my mom and I took the girls to look for light fixtures for our dining area. The old one is ugly. No, seriously, it’s so, so ugly. I’ve been telling Tom that for years. He was sick of hearing it. So off we went to Lowes and Home Depot to shop.

And, what do you know, there’s a mall down the street from these awesome home improvement places. So after finding a light that I liked (more on that tomorrow, so, so much more) we took the girls to the mall.

They were so excited they could barely stand it. We hardly ever go to the mall. It’s a special treat for very special, sweet girls. Ahem.

We headed directly for the food court upon entering the mall. I bought the girls each a piece Sbarro pizza and a drink. While my mom got something from Charlie’s I cut some of O’s pizza and gave her a couple of bites. When my mom reached the table, I headed to Subway to get a salad.

Arriving back at the table, my mom said, “Olivia said she’s letting her pizza cool.”

I glanced at O and touched her pizza. It wasn’t hot. I gave her another bite.

My mom nodded and said, “Ahh, she just didn’t want to feed herself.”

That Olivia is a very smart child. Why pick up your own fork when either of your parents will do it for you? And for the record, she managed to feed herself the sugar cookie I brought her from Subway just fine.

The girls and my mom were done eating way before I was and Alyssa pointed out that I am always the last one to finish eating. My mom reminded Alyssa that I was the last one to actually get my food and start eating. It’s kind of nice to have someone stand up for me once in a while.

After eating, I let the girls ride the double decker carousel. They rode it three times. Yes, three. They were fairly short rides and, well, I’m indulgent like that.

Then we went to Payless and the girls tried on shoes. Olivia found a beige pair with an entirely inappropriate heal that she adored. She wanted those shoes so much. I told her there was no way I was buying her shoes that she couldn’t even wear to school. I reminded her that he physical therapist would have a fit if she showed up for therapy in a pair of shoes like that.

Alyssa liked some orange running shoes. I reminded her that we don’t even run…yet.

No shoes were purchased.

After the shoe store we went to Macy’s. But we only went there because it was in the direction of the car.

We browsed the shirts. My mom found some pants for Alyssa. Olivia fondled the mannequins.

We found a few shirts for Alyssa and Olivia started to get a little whiny.

But we hadn’t found anything for Olivia, my mom said. We took the escalator down to the girls’ department and I had to use the restroom.

My mom and the girls went to the clothes while I found the bathroom.

When I went looking for my family I found my mom shaking her head and looking at her feet. As I got closer, I found that she wasn’t actually looking at her feet, she was looking at my children, who were lying on the floor at her feet.

Because they were tired. Ugh!

I told them to get up. They got up and then Olivia tried to hide in a clothes rack. Alyssa tried to yank Olivia out and they knocked several items of clothing off the rack.

I told them to stop being obnoxious.

We finally found a few things and headed back toward the escalator. Olivia was either trying to run ahead of us or whining that she was thirsty.

Alyssa kept trying to grab O’s arm or fuss about her feet hurting.

We found a place to pay for our things and Olivia tried to go find a mannequin. Alyssa tried to keep her with us. They were basically being brats.

My mom checked out first and told the girls she’d take them to the car, where there was water for Olivia, thank goodness, while I paid.

When I finally got to the car, my mom said, “I just told the girls that if they were my kids, I’ve have spanked them both for the way they behaved in there.”

Well. I guess she told me.

And she was right. I was basically that annoying mom who kept saying things like, “Stop that. Stand up. Behave.” But I never did anything to MAKE them do those things.

I guess I should change the girls’ names to Kasen and Zasen.

That’ll teach me to be judgey and gossipy. Maybe. Or maybe next time, I’ll just leave the girls home with Tom. Now there’s a fabulous idea.