Exceptional Size

The county fair is in town this week.

The girls get the Monday of ‘fair week’ off school and kids get into the fair for free. Wristbands for unlimited rides are $14. We’ve been every year since we moved to this area.

Last year, alas, I didn’t have any vacation time, so I left work a little early and Olivia and I hit the fair for a couple of hours at the end of the day. That was fine.

This year, wheee, I have three whole vacation days (I ‘earn’ my third day in October) and so I knew at the start of the year that was going to use one of those three days for Fair Day. It’s tradition!

We always ride the spinning berries ride first. Again, tradition. And by ‘we’ I always get a wristband too because I’m twelve years old at heart and I love to spin and flip and ride.

So we rode the strawberry, didn’t spin nearly enough and then headed to a ride that was a two-seater. I told the girls I’d sit that one out so that they could ride together.

Alas, the minute Olivia saw that not only did this ride spin but it also rose into the air, she noped right out of that sucker.

We were on to the Scrambler. Olivia asked if we could all ride that one.

I took one look at the seats and said, “Sure, if my butt were a lot smaller.”

There was a mom and her two young daughters on that ride already and even though her girls were all of six and seven, and the mom was smaller than I am, they were smashed in there quite snugly. So yeah. Mom was going to sit that one out too.

By the time the girls were done on the Scrambler, my mom had found us and so Alyssa and I decided to ride the Freak Out. This ride required riders to be taller than 49” and shorter than 79”. There was a sign posted that read something like, “Due to the design of the seats on this ride and the safety harnesses, riders of exceptional size may not be able to ride.”

As Alyssa and I got closer to the front of the line, I started to worry that I might be ‘exceptionally sized.’ I watched the other riders getting off the ride to see if I could find anyone with hips as wide at mine or boobs as big. Alas, this ride tends to draw the 11 – 17 set and they tend to NOT be the size of a 40+ mom.

I finally asked Alyssa if she thought I might be exceptionally sized. She rolled her eyes and said, “No!”

Bless her lying little heart.

But guess what? She wasn’t lying. I fit!

Okay, confession. The carnie had to tell me to sit back as far as I could in the seat and he has to PUSH the harness into my bosom in order to get it to click into place but click it did!

And I was only uncomfortable for a few seconds before my body and all its mass settled into the new parameters set by the seat and its harness.

That ride was SO MUCH FUN. We were spun and swung into the air and whipped around and it was exhilarating.