Retrospective Happiness

I remember hearing someone say that happiness is something you experience in retrospect. That one never really knows one is happy until they look back on a time in their past and see that, yes, at that time, they were happy.

I don’t agree with this. I think we can and should embrace happiness right now, in our present. I think happiness is something we can grasp and hold on to. It is also something we can choose.

When I first heard the theory that happiness only exists in retrospect, I was in college. And I was damned happy at that time. I loved my college years.

I had a few tough years after college but these days, I’m happy again. And I know that being here, in the moment, especially with my girls, gives me great joy.

Yesterday Tom took the girls to the lake. I met them there after work. The water was very cold and no one was really swimming. When I arrived, Olivia was thrilled to see me because it meant we could all go to the playground. She’d been waiting for me to get there so she and Alyssa could divide and conquer the parents.

We all ended up over on the play equipment. I followed Olivia up and down the steps, across the bridge, down the slide (she did it herself, thank you very much) and then back up the little steps that were shaped like leaves.

In those moments there at the park, I was there. I was with my family, catching Tom’s eye when one of the girls would call out, “Mom/Dad, look at me!” We were both in the moment, rejoicing in our good fortune to be the parents of these amazing little girls.

Our happiness is right now, not two years ago. We embrace the challenges and the joys that come with the day to day work that is marriage and parenthood.

And we’re lucky to be able to do so.

I hope I can look back often and realize that I was happy in those moments and that I knew it.