Added Bonus

These days of peace, of feeling centered and more ‘myself’ than I have in years, are great. I am a better mother, a better daughter, a better sister and yes, even a better wife.

I wouldn’t say that Tom and I were ever unhappy together but there have been moments over the last few years that were…tense. I was peevish and often petulant. My feelings were hurt way more easily than one would think could happen to an adult woman.

He often didn’t have to say anything at all for me to suddenly feel put upon and negated and even put down.

I don’t blame him for any of this. I know it was me. I was reading between lines that didn’t even exist. I was transferring my own issues onto him and then taking them as criticism from him to me.

These days, we’re better friends than we have been in years. These days we both laugh a lot more, we sing around the kitchen, we tease and we smile. We like each other and that…it’s awesome.

I mean, we’ve always loved each other. That was never in question. But there were times, days, months interspersed in the last eleven years that I’ve wondered if I even liked this man. And I’ve definitely wondered if he liked me. I often felt like there was very little that he thought I did well or right.

I’m happy to say that I feel liked these days, by both Tom and myself.

That’s a really nice feeling.

It’s also nice to glance across the table and catch the gaze of your partner in life and both smile, knowing that this moment in time is a good one, even if one daughter is singing at the top of her lungs and the other is turning the television up higher and higher to drown out her sister.

That old adage, if mom/wife is happy everyone is happy? It sure seems to be true in our house. I never really got how much my happiness/unhappiness affected everyone in our house. I’m incredibly blessed to see it now and have the tools to make changes if/when they’re needed.