Tuesday, March 6, 2018

Anti-Climactic

I headed into chemo today thinking it was my next to last chemo.

I counted wrong. Today was my last chemo.

I'm not complaining. This is a great thing. I'm done. I did it.

Sure, I have radiation next, but one chapter of this fight against cancer is done. We get to move on to the next.

I just thought it would be a bigger deal. Or rather, I'd planned to make it a bigger deal. I was going to take donuts to the nurses and staff at the cancer center next week. I mean, I guess I still could. And I might. But it was going to a celebration.

Instead, it was just another chemo. Except, it wasn't. It was my last.

I met Dr. Z. They're scheduling my port removal to take place before I start radiation. That's a big deal too. He explained that with my chances of the cancer coming back now reduced to six percent, it makes much more sense to remove the port. The negative aspects of keeping it are greater than the chances of needing it. He explained that to keep it means I'd have to have it flushed every six week, there is a chance of infection, there's the risk of blood clots...yeah, lots of negatives. I actually didn't need to be convinced. I'll be glad to have it removed.

Today was a day of lasts.

Last chemo, last port access, last weigh-in with the chemo nurses (I was scolded a bit for losing 7 pounds from last week to this...I don't want to talk about it.)

Last time sitting in that chemo chair, last batch of steroids (Yay!!) Tonight will hopefully be my last night of steroid insomnia. My face can finally, probably slowly, lose it's steroid puffiness. My feet can lost their numbness.

I have about three weeks off before starting radiation. That will be nice. A few weeks to let the chemo work its way out of my system, a chance to maybe start feeling like myself again.

Than the next chapter starts. Bring it on. I'm ready to continue to this fight all the way to victory.

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