Sleep can be so difficult. There are moments when I'm sitting in the recliner, surrounded by my family, enjoying a television show and I can't keep my eyes open. Sleep descends upon me like a warm blanket that I can't resist.
Then, the very next night, I will be lying in bed, bundled under five blankets, unable to get warm, rolled into a ball of misery and I'm trying to wrestle with sleep, to grab it and force myself into slumber. Obviously, that doesn't work.
I like the quote from The Fault In Our Stars when Hazel compares falling in love with Augustus to falling asleep. "It happens slowly then all at once."
Olivia insists she doesn't know how to sleep. That child hasn't had a nap since she was two years old. Even during her bout with the flu a couple of weeks ago, she never napped.
The other night, she was awake until midnight. I kept telling her to go to sleep. She kept saying, "I don't know how." I would tell her to just close her eyes. She's reply, "But even with my eyes closed, I can still hear things."
I mean, sure, that's true, but sleep won't come if you don't close your eyes.
Or will it? Sleep happens even when people are trying to keep their eyes open so...there goes that rationale.
Anyway, this chemo thing/not working thing has screwed up my sleep schedule. I usually don't fall asleep until at least 1am. Then, on school days, I get up at 6:15 to get the girls up. I usually go back to bed at 7:30 once they are one the bus and sleep until at least 10:30. Yeah, I'm a mess. My whole days are spent recovering from not getting enough nighttime sleep and then I can't sleep at night all over again.
Boohoohooo.
A mom, a dad and two daughters. We're living ordinary lives with a twist of 5p- (Cri du Chat) for spice. But we're about so much more than our younger daughter's genetic diagnosis.
1 comment:
Take the time to enjoy it off. Once you are ready to go back to work, you'll adjust. Ugh, though, to not being able to sleep when you want to sleep.
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