Anxious

Our school teaches the whole Cusp of Puberty thing to fifth graders. I think perhaps they should start a little younger but I’m not in charge so, whatever.

Olivia’s class was presented with this just last week.

Let me remind all four of you (ha! I amuse myself in thinking that four whole people read here anymore. But thank you, Julie for being so faithful. J ) that Olivia has been living the life of Puberty for over a year.

So this shouldn’t have been a big deal for her.

Yeah, you know what’s coming.

It turned out to be a big deal.

The night after the class, she was having trouble sleeping. I could tell because she rambled on and on for about a half hour after I tucked her in. I finally asked, “Livie, is anything bothering you?”

She sighed and said, “Well, you know how the girls went with the nurse to a classroom and the boys went with the gym teacher?”

“Yeah?”

“The nurse showed us a video about how our bodies are changing and it was weird. And then she said that our voices might change and crack.”

“Oh,” I replied. “Well, I think that mostly only boys have to worry about their voices changing and cracking.”

“Yeah, but if my voice is going to change and crack, what day will that happen?”

Aww, my little sweetheart. I get it. She just wants to be able to prepare for yet another change. I much prefer to know what’s coming too.

I reminded her that when she started her period, we didn’t know exactly day that would happen but that it was no big deal, we handled it together and it was fine. Though she acknowledged that I was right about it not being a big deal, she still asked a couple more times what day her voice would change.

I considered telling her that it would change next Tuesday, just so we could both go to sleep but decided that would be mean.

We continued to talk. I let her get it all out and when we finally fell asleep, I felt like I’d had a Good Mom moment.

My girls both like to talk at night, when it’s dark, when they don’t have to look at me and can just let it all out. I’m so glad we have these moments, this time to connect. I hope I’m laying foundations for them, building their confidence, giving them strength and confidence to face whatever life throws at them. They deserve that and if I don’t have decades like I want to think I do, I need to continue to make the most of these days that we do have together, these quiet nights where we connect and my love for them goes deep inside them where it will continue to give them strength even if I’m not here to continue to feed into it on a daily basis.

Huh…it seems that Olivia is not the only one who is anxious about a few things these days.