Bless Her Heart

You know what’s funny. I get more parenting advice from people who have never raised children than anyone else in the world.

At my old job there were two women who never had children, never lived full time with children, never got up several times a night for YEARS with a child and these two women gave me more advice than all the people we worked with who were actual parents put together.

Last week, Tom got some advice about parenting Alyssa from someone who has never raised a child. Okay, let’s not be vague, it was Tom’s oldest daughter. She did give birth to a child and I do consider her his mother but she isn’t raising him. So…yeah.

Apparently, J follows Alyssa on several social media sites and is worried about the intensity of A’s relationship with N.

Tom was the one who talked to J. He reminded her that Lyss is almost sixteen, which means she feels things intensely. She’s fine. She and N are fine. We’re all fine.

And please, let’s remember that J might not be the most reliable person to be giving relationship advise.

My eyes have rolled right out of my head and are halfway to Indianapolis. Julie, please catch them and return them to me when we see you in Bloomington in a few weeks.

That’s how I feel about J’s parenting advice.

See, let’s remember that I also followed A on social media. I happen to live with her too. I see her and N together. I know they’d like to spend every waking hour together if it were possible/allowed. However, I also know that Alyssa has a very busy life, as does N. They make time for each other because they want to but other parts of their lives are not suffering because of their relationship. They maintain other friendships, they do their homework. N works. They’re both in the upcoming musical. They do a boatload of band things, both together and separately.

They’re fine.

They’re young and in love and that’s fine.

After he’d hung up with J Tom relayed her suggestion to me that perhaps Lyss should go spend a few weeks with her (J) to get her ‘out of N’s sphere’ for a while. OMG. Please. As freaking if.

I told Tom that J was the last person we’d want to send Alyssa away to spend time with if we wanted to get her out of Edon. J suggested that perhaps the only reason A and N are together is because there are only eleven other people in our town. Okay. Sure.

J has never raised a child. She was not the most trustworthy teenager. She probably remembers making REALLY BAD decisions as a teenager.

I reminded Tom that hey, at least neither N or A can get the other pregnant. So there’s that.

For the record, Alyssa will not be heading off to New Jersey to spend time with her sister. I feel no need to get her away from N. N is great. A is great. We’re all great, except maybe those people who have never raised kids who insist on giving the rest of us advice. They’re not so great.