Full Circle

One year ago yesterday was my last day at my former job. I was starting my new chemo a year ago today, December 19th. On the advice of my HR manager, I’d decided to go on full-time medical leave for the remainder of my treatment.

The facility where I’d worked for over seventeen years closed on December 31, 2017. Because I was on medical leave, they couldn’t officially fire me until I was finished with treatment.

Talk about a relief, right? The knowledge that I had insurance coverage, that I was receiving a percentage of my original pay, that I could concentrate on getting better and not drag my sick self to work each day…it was a huge blessing.

But honestly, being back to work feels like a blessing too. I feel so very lucky to have come full circle.

Here I am, working, taking care of my family, feeling pretty good (for the most part, but we all know I’m not one to complain *cough, cough*)

As Christmas looms, I find myself grateful just to be here. Just to get to see my kids’ faces on Christmas morning.

As I fell asleep last night, I prayed, giving thanks for each and very thing that I have. I know that things could have been so very different.

They’re different for my Auntie Nell. She’s facing her first Christmas without her daughter. Her first great grandchild was born last month (on Liv’s birthday!) and her daughter isn’t here to celebrate being a Gram.

It would have made Amy crazy knowing that her daughter was out in California with a newborn and Amy was stuck here in the Midwest but maybe she’d have found a way to go be with them for a few days.

I believe with all my heart that she’s with them now, keeping watch over her daughter and that beautiful baby girl.

Amy was so sick this time last year.

I was going through treatments, trying to get well. We were all doing our best with the cards we were dealt. I know I got the better hand. I’m sorry that Amy didn’t get a better one too.

But I’m not sorry I’m here. I’m so very thankful for every single day I get to be here. I pray that there are many, many more December 18ths and Christmas mornings and all the days that come before and after and in between.