Tuesday, February 26, 2019

Still That Mom

Alyssa has to write five paragraphs each day in a journal for school. Each time I see her writing in this journal, I say in a really obnoxious voice, “Dear Diary, my mother is sooo annoying.”

Because, yes, it’s true, I’m VERY annoying.

The other day, after the eye doctor, we three stopped at my mom’s house to show her Liv’s new glasses. In Lyss’s words, “Those glasses are annoyingly cute.”

While there, Alyssa showed my mom her bandaid from the shot she’d received the before. She said, “I don’t know what’s on the bandaid, but I don’t think it’s Sponge Bob.”

The bandaid was clearly decorated with cartoons on a yellow background.

I leaned forward and said, “Let me see.”

Then I ripped that bandaid right off so I could get a better look.

This startled both my mom and Alyssa that they laughed for several minutes over the entire situation.

Once upon a time, Alyssa was HORRIBLE about taking bandaids off. She fought it like one might fight someone trying to pull a tooth. I got really good at stealth bandaid removal.

A bit later in the visit, my mom was showing off a deer antler she’d found in her yard.

While Alyssa was distracted by the antler, I took her journal.

I saw that she’d written about the lock-down drill they’d had at school earlier that day and took the opportunity to add some of my very own creative flair.

I wrote, “If I’d come across that intruder, I’d have kicked his butt with my awesome karate skills.”

I was so proud of this sentence because it had so many words. One of the rules of journaling for Lyss’s class is that each sentence must have at least ten words. They can’t simply write, “I’m tired.”

Nope, that doesn’t count. So if they want their teacher to know they’re tired, they’d have to write something like, “I’m really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really tired.”

But I don’t think even that would suffice; though I’m sure there are kids who’ve tried it. They’d have to be more creative and write, “I’m tired but I have to write in this stupid journal and I have nothing to say.”

Okay, I’m overachieving again. I suppose a really annoyed student wouldn’t bother with the additional clause of ‘and I have nothing to say.’

But whatever.

The point is she actually left that sentence in, writing below it that her mom had written the above sentence and her mom is insane and she wanted her teacher to see what she has to put up with.

I feel irrational joy that she left that sentence in her journal. I don’t even really know why it makes me so happy. It just amused me so much and I’m so glad that she’s so comfortable with my craziness that she is willing to share it with her teacher.

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