Banana Ooooh Nana

I hate bananas. Given my propensity to over-share, this probably is a well-established fact. I distinctly remember liking bananas as a child and then, around four years old or so, I must have gotten a bad one because from that point forward, no. No freaking way. I hate the taste, the smell, the texture. I hate the little black things (seeds?) in the middle of the penile shaped fruit. It’s just SO GROSS.

While visiting my aunt in the hospital one recent weekend, several cousins, aunts and uncles were there. (Quite honestly, we weren’t sure Auntie Nell would make it through that night. She rallied and is doing better.)

My cousin E had two bananas in her purse.

Gag.

She offered one to me.

I made a face and she laughed.

Her dad was next to her and nodded his agreement to the face I made. He said, “You don’t like them either?”

I made a gagging sound and said, “No, they’re disgusting.”

J agreed, “I don’t like them but I make myself eat two a day.”

I gave him a blank stare.

He stared back.

When I could finally speak again I asked, “Why? Why would you do that to yourself?”

“They’re so good for you. I want the potassium,” replied Uncle J.

“Duuuuude,” I exclaimed, “they sell supplements for that sort of thing!”

“But getting it from food is better for you.”

I shook my head, “Sure, except then you have to actually eat the nasty things. Nope, not going to happen.”

“What about banana bread?” Cousin E asked as she munched on one of the bananas she’d pulled from her purse.

“No.” I replied with an even tone. “Not banana bread, not banana muffins, never banana candy. Banana pudding is even grosser than actual bananas. Nothing banana, not ever, no way, no how.”

“I love banana pancakes,” piped up another cousin.

I spun to confront her, “Are you crazy?”

At that point, we had quite an audience.

And see, here’s the thing. I get that other people actually enjoy eating bananas. That’s fine. Go you if you like bananas.

But why, in this day and age, would anyone subject themselves to something they don’t like just for the nourishment? I mean, it’s not like Uncle J is at risk for malnutrition. Being able to abstain from repulsive foods is one of the (many) benefits of living in a first world country.

And just so everyone out there who loves bananas knows, I buy bananas every single week for my two banana-eaters, Tom and Liv. They love those gross things and since I love Tom and Liv, I buy them fresh fruit. I’m a freaking superhero over here.