Why Are You Tired?

“Why are you always so tired?”

That was the question Olivia asked me on Monday night at about 10:30. We’d been in bed for over an hour. She was STILL talking about some Sssniperwolf video she’d watched on YouTube and I’d muttered that I was REALLY tired and maybe she needed to just go to sleep.

I decided to go with the long answer. “Because I got up really early this morning and went to work and then came home and drove you to Gram’s and then made you dinner and then, while you took a bath, I worked on your Halloween costume. Then after I washed your hair and combed it out for you, we went back downstairs where I got you pie and ice cream. You got to sleep in today since you didn’t have school and then you had THREE glasses of tea at Gram’s which is why you’re so wide awake. Please try to sleep because tomorrow is going to be rough on both of us.”

I get that kids are inherently self-centered. I also think there’s nothing wrong with trying and getting teach them a little empathy.

Olivia is very much used to my life revolving around her. She is spoiled. I fully admit that. She’s not so much a brat about it as she’s just used to having things happen in a certain way that almost always benefits her.

And for the most part, that’s okay.

But there are times when she needs to be shown and to learn that even my world isn’t always about her.

So sometimes tuck in time needs to be short because this Mom is freaking tired. The turtles can’t sing quite as many songs (sometimes they don’t sing at all) and Barbie’s rendition of Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star might not be as riveting as it often is.

Sometimes I need to just kiss her goodnight and be done for the night.

Kids never really get how hard the adults in their lives work. I get that. I’m okay with that. But I kind of want them to understand just a little that when I’m out of their sight, I’m working. I’m doing stuff. I’m not just sitting around eating chocolate covered cherries and watching Hulu in a closet somewhere, biding my time until I can go home and do things for them.

Yes, my job entails sitting at a desk most of the day but I’m also interacting with people (which for an introvert is exhausting), looking at numbers, working in databases, blah blah blah. Boring? Absolutely. But also not restful.

So yes, my loves, I’m tired.

I’m sorry that more often than not my job gets the best of me five days a week. But that job puts a roof over our heads, it makes it possible for us to go to the doctor, it buys our groceries and lets us heat our house. There are so many behind the scenes things that happen that kids don’t understand and those things make their parents so very, very tired.

Sometimes…too tired to make Travis the Turtle sing his naughty little heart out at 10:00pm. On those nights, just be glad he has the energy to give you a kiss and GO TO SLEEP.