Borrowing Trouble?

Okay, so here’s the thing:

I come from a redneck, conservative family. Yes, it’s as annoying as you might think.

Alyssa is out. She is in no way in the closet. She and Naomi have been together for over three years.

I’ve posted pictures of every single prom they’ve gone to on all the social media platforms I have.

And yet…I’m pretty sure most of my extended family (as well as immediate, such as brothers, who can be assholes) does not know she’s gay.

I don’t care if they know. I don’t care if they bury their heads forever and pretend they don’t know what they know. It’s not my story to tell and so I haven’t bother to make any kind of announcement. If someone were to ask, Alyssa has given me permission to answer.

But!

Her graduation party is in just over a month. Naomi will be there, as she should be. This is a big day for Alyssa and Naomi is a huge part of her life.

I never, ever want Alyssa to hide any part of who she is. I am proud of her, every single part of her. I think she’s amazing and I want the world to see her.

I don’t think anyone will be weird at the party. I hope they won’t.

Do I mention to Alyssa that people might be weird? Do I prepare her for potential weirdness just so she and Naomi aren’t blindsided if there is weirdness or do I go into this with the expectation that everyone will be on their best behavior?

I mean, who am I kidding, right? People are jerks all the damn time, even to people they claim to love.

But I don’t want to borrow trouble. There might not even be trouble. Though I’ve mentioned that an aunt has been a royal jerk a few years ago when relating a story about some lesbians their family lived next door to a thousand years ago, right? This aunt has VERY strong feelings about those particular lesbians which has, unfortunately, colored her feelings on all lesbians forever and ever and always, thank you very much.

Ick.

The one time we talked about this (at Auntie’s salon) I tried to gently point out that just because she felt a strong ick factor from those particular women, it didn’t mean that all women who are gay are creepy or inappropriate with children. I reminded Auntie that there have been men who, since the beginning of time, have treated women and children badly but that didn’t mean that ALL men (ugh, ‘not all men’) are bad, misogynistic, rapists, abusers, pedophiles, etc. Sadly, I don’t think she got what I was saying or, you know, she didn’t want to hear it.

Alyssa is unwilling to spend any amount of time at this aunt’s house these days and I do not blame her even a little. Olivia and I still go with my mom because Auntie lives on a lake and so her place is lovely and wonderful in the summer for all kinds of summer fun. But we try and be as un-political as possible. And yes, I know this is probably not the best stance and ask me after the party whether Liv and I will be going back to her house.

So. Will Auntie be a bitch? Will my brothers be assholes? Will everyone just let it be a nice, celebratory day for Alyssa and not be dicks? Do we even care what other people think?

And wait, if anyone DOES say something, will I react like a boss and shut that shit down? Damn, I hope so.

I guess we’ll see.

P.S. I’m honestly not worried about Tom’s side of the family at all. First, he has a niece who married a lovely young woman a few years ago (sadly, niece’s wife died about six or so months ago…) and so his family seems to understand that we are living in different, better times and if you don’t like the way others live and they’re not living in a way that’s hurting anyone else, you should just keep your yap shut.