"Endearments"

I know I’ve written about women who call everyone ‘hon’ or ‘dear’. And I’m sure at that time I touched on men who do the same thing.

I might even have mentioned how irritating I find it when random dudes call me ‘dear’ or ‘hon’ but the same thing from a woman doesn’t bother me.

I recently had an epiphany as to why that’s the case.

Women who use endearments for people who are not their immediate family do it to everyone. They call the lady next door, the dude checking out at the grocery store, and their nieces and nephews these things. They’ll say, “Thanks, Hon” to anyone and everyone, no matter the age, sex, or relation of the person being spoken to.

Men who use endearments…only use them at women. Dudes do not call other dudes ‘dear’ or ‘darlin’.

I even went so far to confirm with Tom that this is the case. He said that no man has ever called him ‘dear’ in the process of helping him check out at the antique store or while handing him his change at Rural King.

And I know, I KNOW, not all men (don’t @ me) who call women ‘hon’ are creeps but a lot of them are, even if they don’t think they are. They’re using the ‘endearment’, even if subconsciously, because they feel that women are beneath them, more akin to children than to the man himself. And so to call a women ‘dear’ is to remind her that he’s above her and that she’s smaller, less important than he is.

Women, on the other hand, who use endearments, do it across gender/sex lines. They do it because it’s part of their lexicon. Where I’d call someone sir, ma’am, or even dude, these ladies say dear and hon and sweetie.

Men need to stop it, by the way. The need to stop calling women who are not their wives or daughters dear. Stop calling women who are probably smarter than you things that belittle them. Even if you don’t think it does, stop it just in case, mmm’kay?