Monday, July 19, 2010

Four Letter Words

I'm not really one to toss out profanity...well, unless I happen to be alone in my car, cruising down US 20 at a good 60mph and some asshole truck driver pulls off of 49 into my path when I know damned well that fucker HAD to see me coming in his direction and I have to slow down to 30mph just to avoid slamming into the back of his trailer. Then, I will probably swear so loudly and colorfully to make a sailor blush.

Ahem.

But those aren't the four letter words I have a problem with.

When I was in college, one of my aunts pointed out that I seemed to have been cursed to always date boys/men with names that had four letters.

Let's see:

First boyfriend: Jody
Second: Todd
Third: Jeff
Fourth: Sean
Fifth: Andy

Okay, then, let's just stop there since I've sort of proven my point. Right?

See, the aunt was right. There was a pattern. Sure, Andy was short for Andrew, but he went by Andy. Four letters. Sure, sure, there are just a lot of male names that have four letters or are easily shortned to four letters. Sure, that's very true. And yet, my brothers, Jason and Mitchell (Mitch) didn't have four letters. Two of the most important boys/men in my life were not a part of the four-letter curse. My favorite (and yet most annoying, hmmm) cousin is Aaron, again, not four letters. So, obviously, there are as many if not more male names that have more or fewer letters than four and yet...I'd attracted all the guys with four-letter names.

This was the start of my obsession with names.

When I first met Tom, I refused to even consider going out with him. Three letters be damned! I was not going to be a part of the couple known as Tom and Tommie. Uh-uh, no freaking way! Not only am I Tommie but my DAD is also Tom, which was just too weird. Creepy even. Yeah, I got over that, huh?

And yet...he was sweet. And Tom wasn't short for a named that originally had four letters. No, Thomas has six, so we were able to avoid the four-letter curse both ways.

Obviously, I would have missed out on a lot, had I continued my refusal to date a Tom. And Tom's sons? Jeremy and Dustin, again, important men in our lives and not a four-letter name in sight.

I do believe we've broken the curse. I suppose I should go home and thank Tom for his persistence. After I've traveled 65 miles on a highway filled with inconsiderate truck drivers who make me swear like I'm one of them.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Holy moly!! I choked on my water reading that!! So funny.