Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Voice


I'm feeling my way here. Trying to find my voice.

Over at Share, I felt like my voice came pretty easily. In the beginning (I think I started that blog when Olivia was five months old, difficult but with no diagnosis in sight) I was just sort of reminiscing about her beginning, her early days in the NICU, her screamy, screamy nights, her refusal to be put down and yet her hatred off all that existed in the world.

Then therapy started and my voice got lighter, more conversational.

I thought that voice would carry over to here. It hasn't.

Maybe it's the audience.

At Share, I knew my words were being read. I knew my audience, the women I'd met at SU, those I cared for already through their words, their pain, so similar to my own and yet always so unique, every story heart-breaking even as it was heart-warming.

I know by my followers that several of you from Share have followed here. But this is a different place, and it is requiring a different voice from me.

This is more about the entire family, not the one that is 'special.' Maybe this is more about me than about my kids.

Who knows? Bear with me as I continue to find my voice, my tone, the reasons I'm here, writing all this down. I know the main reason...to remember, to be able to come back and see what we were doing at this particular point in our lives. Perhaps to bring a bit of immortality to my story, as ordinary as it is.

Because look how big they're getting.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Oh, Tommie... I <3 You. I say so often that "I feel ya"... Well. I do. I always find it amazing that when I come to read your blog either here or on Share, so many of your thoughts and feelings are nearly identical to my own...

I can't wait to hear more of your voice, however it sounds!

Love,
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