Two

This post is inspired by Charity's post about why she didn't stop at two http://lifesunexpectedblessings.blogspot.com/ and a conversation I had with the lovely Julie just this past weekend.

I knew when I had Alyssa that if I could convince Tom have just one more baby I'd be lucky.

See, he has three older children. They were 14, 15 and 18 when he and I met. Now they're 23, 24, and 27.

The older two have both had children of their own. That makes my husband a grandfather. Me? I'm still just Grandpa Tom's wife.

After I had Alyssa I wasn't sure I could possibly love another child as much as I loved her. And she was pretty amazing. I wondered if I was selfish in even wanting to try for just one more. I'd gotten perfection, why tempt fate.

But as she got bigger and more independent and more amazing, I realized that I not only wanted another child for myself I wanted her to experience the love of a sibling that's not more than a decade older than she is.

Her older siblings are more like uncles and an aunt than siblings.

I wanted her to have what I'd had with my brothers as I was growing up. I wanted her to know sibling love and sibling rivalry.

But even once I was pregnant with Olivia, I knew she would be our last. She would forever be the baby of the family.

And I was okay with that.

We found out she was a girl when I was 22 weeks along. I was thrilled that I was having another girl. I loved the idea of raising sisters. And heck, Alyssa had a lot of really cute clothes she could hand down.

The day after Olivia was born, my OB/GYN came in to discharge me so I could go be with her and he discussed birth control with me.

And he suggested the Mirena IUD. It's good for five years. He suggested that even at my advanced age, I might decide in a few years to try for a boy.

I'd given birth about 15 hours previous to this conversation. I hadn't actually held that baby yet and it felt like this doctor was implying that she wasn't good enough, she wasn't enough because she was another girl.

It's probably perverse of me to think this but...if I were to have a third? I'd probably wish for yet another girl just because I wouldn't want anyone to think we'd gone for number three just to get the elusive boy.

Not that I don't adorve boys. My nephew is all kinds of awesome and he's all booger-eating, mud-slinging boy.

But our family is complete. It's wonderful. Tom and I love our sweet girls and wouldn't trade them for anything in the world.

I often wonder where people get the nerve to judge how others build their family. Why is it anyone elses' business whether a couple has no children, one child or six? It's not.

No one ever really knows the reasons for the choices made by other people and until we do understand those choices, we should respect the fact that people usually have a reason for what they do. Usually.