Bad Mom

We are finally getting some rain in our area. The hour of rainfall we got last night was more rain than we’d had in our area in the past six weeks.

All this is to preface that along with the rain we’re finally getting, there is also a bit of lightning and thunder.

And the thunder brings me to my point, which is not the drought that this are of the country is currently suffering but the fact that every single time the thunder rolls across the sky, Alyssa jumps and looks around, all big-eyed and fearful.

Each time she does this I roll my eyes and say, “Really?”

Because see, here’s the thing. I don’t think she’s actually afraid of the thunder. I think she thinks she’s supposed to be afraid of the thunder and so she fakes the jumps and the running to my side and the wide eyes.

And so my response to her fake fear is less than sympathetic.

Which is not so very maternal, is it? I mean, what if she really is scared and her reactions are sincere and just because I read them as fake, I’m not giving her the comfort she might actually need.

I tried to be all warm and comforting last night but come on, it was just a little bit of rolling thunder. There were no big claps or booms going on out there. It was actually quite comforting to hear the thunder and see the distant lightening.

To me. Maybe not so much to her, though, right?

So tonight I’ll go home and try to explain what thunder and lightning really are and explain how, as long as she stays inside, the storms are nothing to fear. I’ll remind her that we’ll always take care of her and that even at school, she’s safe.

And I’ll tell her that if she’d faking the fear, she needs to cut it out because it’s not nearly as cute as she might think it is.

Oh yes, I’ve got this mothering thing down.

I think I have a hard time believing this kid right here is truly afraid of a little thunder. She looks so tough, doesn't she?