Last October the girls and I were grocery shopping and happened upon the Halloween aisles. Olivia found some toy handcuffs and had to have them. I mean, she was enchanted by these silver bangles that were connected by a three link chain. There was no key but they were toys, they had a little lever on each cuff that released it.
They were only $3 so I went ahead and got them for her.
She played with those things almost constantly for the next couple of months. She played with them so much that Tom had to fix them several times because O turned out to be hard on handcuffs.
One afternoon Tom was flipping through the channels and came across an episode of Cops Reloaded.
Olivia stopped almost mid-flip and stared.
There were people being handcuffed on the television! She couldn’t believe her eyes. She watched the entire episode, her own hands cuffed behind her back, then in front, and finally, with the cuffs just dangling from her hands.
Last week she was flipping through one of her poo magazines. She came across a picture of Kevin Federline (aka the ex-Mr. Britney Spears) being hauled away in handcuffs. She carried the magazine open to that picture around with her for days. She asked several times, “Why do celebrities get arrested?”
I think the most common answer was, “Because celebrities are stupid and they think they’re above the law and so they do dumb things and are shocked when they’re caught and held accountable.”
Probably a bit much to be saying to a seven year old but…whatever.
The last few days as I walk into the door from work, I can hear Olivia in the living room asking Tom if it is time for Cops Reloaded to start. He found a channel that shows two episodes in a row of this insane show right at 5:00 and 5:30 each afternoon. Olivia is in handcuff heaven. She claps gleefully when the opening song starts and races to find her handcuffs so she can watch as idiots of both genders, all ages and ethnicities are arrested for stupidity.
I hope all this isn’t a sneak peek into the life she one day wants to lead. That is, of course, unless she decides to be a cop. But wait, danger, no. No, no, no. I do not want my child (even my adult child) out there dealing with crack head morons on a daily basis.
No. This is a passing phase, right? A funny, cute-because-she’s-seven phase.