Notes from School

Sigh…

Let’s start with the good, shall we? Over the weekend, after a long day away from home, I was puttering around the kitchen, putting away the snacks we’d taken with us when Olivia called me to the bathroom.

I arrived to find her sitting on the toilet, her cushy tushy in place, her magazine opened on her lap, her step stool at her feet.

“I need you to clean me up,” she said, preparing to climb down from the toilet.

I glanced suspiciously at her underwear, suspecting nothing good would come of it. But they were clean.

She’d realized she needed to poop and went about the process in the appropriate manner. Go Olivia!!

My mom and I were lamenting just last week that we’re ready for the next stage in potty independence. Olivia has been pretty much accident-free at home for months and months now. But…she wants us to go into the bathroom with her even though she does it all herself. She just likes the company. And we’re sort of tired being her potty pal.

And we’re getting there. Slowly but surely. Baby steps and all that jazz.

Alas, all is not sunshine and roses in Olivia’s world.

This morning I was cleaning out Olivia’s backpack in preparation for school.

There was a note from her teacher.

To paraphrase, it said something like: Olivia is having trouble with behavior at school. She is refusing to perform requested tasks such as picking up after herself. She’s also taken to throwing papers on the floor and refuses to pick them up. I was wondering if you had any suggestions on how to motivate her.

Oh…do I wish I had some suggestions. I wish I knew what to say to her teacher.

I suggested that it’s the mood, the fact that there are only a couple more weeks of school left and she senses everyone’s underlying excitement over the coming summer break.

I wrote that Tom and I talked to Olivia about rules and respect and how she has to listen to her teacher when she tells her something.

It just occurred to me in the writing of this post that perhaps Olivia is FINALLY getting comfortable with her teachers. Maybe her behavior is a sign that she feels safe with them. Yes, that’s a good thing and yet…I’d rather she not be a brat just because she feels safe to do so.

I did state that O doesn’t behave that way at home. She’s pretty mild-mannered at home. She’s obsessive about keeping the trash can lid and the toilet lid down. Tom used that this morning to remind her that leaving paper on the floor is dirty and nasty just like she thinks leaving the toilet lid up is nasty.

We’ll see.

I have her IEP meeting in just under two weeks. I hope that O can hold out for the rest of the month. It’s almost over and she can have a summer to be wild and free.

Until next fall when we start the whole process over again.

Any advice from you veteran moms out there? How do you motivate your bigger kiddos to behave appropriately at school? I’m not sure O gets the idea of rules. Even if she gets it, I’m not sure she cares. This is the frustrating part.

What can I do to make her WANT to behave at school? How can I get her to want to do the work, put in the effort? Bribery? I’m all for it. I just have to find her thing, that one thing that she wants more than misbehaving…it’s probably going to be Barbie related and I’m okay with that as long as it works.

Punishment doesn’t really work for her. So…bribery it is, right? Unless anyone out there has any better ideas? I'm all ears (eyes?)